Mars is bright tonight

2012-02-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

Baby不要再哭泣　这一幕多么熟悉　

紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静　
给我一分钟专心　好好欣赏你的美

幸福搭配悲伤　同时在我心交叉　
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回　还欠你的我不能给　
别把我心也带走去跟随

每一次和你分开　深深地被你打败　
每一次放弃你的温柔痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开　每一次Kiss You Goodbye
爱情的滋味　此刻　我终于最明白

幸福搭配悲伤　同时在我心交叉　
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回　还欠你的我不能给　
我才明白爱最真实的滋味

why wang lee hom song always so nice! :D

why jj lin songs also so nice!

i want to be a singer! no want do homework D: haha just kidding. still lagginggggggg. D:

2012-02-09T22:54:00.001+08:00

i can't help saying this, but isn't playing 4 hands piano so romantic? :D

HBL time is so nice... i totally love the concept of learning at your own pace, self-initiated learning. slacked off the whole day today, so must do work tmr!!

on the way home after kbox, i walked past a nursery schoolbus and the girl who was alighting start waving at me (i have no reason why). i figured i was wearing pretty clothes and little kids are generally attracted to such stuff. some little boy in the bus also waved at me (i really really don't know why) and he was SO CUTE. wahahahahaha maybe i look like their teacher or something. :D

it totally made my day :)

2012-02-03T22:14:00.004+08:00

i just realised it's kyuhyun's birthday! (lol i forgot, no wait, i didn't even know it.) :P seems like i'm a lousy fangirl, never buy any single piece of merchandise or album, rely on youtube and mediafire to provide all the enjoyment and of course, no money to buy tickets to ss4! :( but ANYWAY, 3 feb 1988, that makes him 24 this year. :D he sings so well! too pro liaos. and his dancing improve like crazyyyyy. :D

to think i spent the whole day slacking STUDYING and MUGGING! i drew out clayden's organic chem and it looks intimidating. maybe it's some kind of sick strategy to make mcmurry look more friendly! whatever it is it seems to be working, i can't wait to gobble up my oreo mcmurry :P

since it's kyuhyun's birthday, must have SJ/kyuhyun music marathon yay! (:

kyuhyun is so zennnn haha YAY

2012-02-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

just finished class montage phewwwww. don't feel like doing anything now hmm.

MUST DO TUTORIAL RAWR.

too pro! and i like this piece very very much :D

i think i better sleep early. falling sick bleah.

2012-01-25T21:35:00.000+08:00

wang lee hom super pro!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/5IfKbS/howtogetfocused.com/chapters/8-things-everybody-ought-to-know-about-concentrating/ quite a good article on how to focus. (should learn more from it lol, what i'm doing now is precisely not focussing and doing trivial stuff instead of bio (!!!!))

and may i say, stumbleupon is a fun website that is a more intellectual AND ENTERTAINING way of wasting your time instead of 9gag! i don't understand why ppl like 9gag because everything there is just so unoriginal ): not to mention tons of reposts (perhaps with some variations). and even so, the same old memes over and over again.

stumbleupon at least helps to increase general knowledge which may (but likely not) help in gp!

haiz mindnumbing websites are bad!!!

oh no! h3 chem is starting soon and i just realised that means i cannot ever go back to nychoir ))))))): WHY! why must it be tues and fri!!! WHY.

i so regret not going back earlier. now it seems so bleak ):

random ranting over! muscle fatigue (and ache) again! so much for 5pm go home! ): but ah wells, training is still fun (: must train harder, lose weight and continue doing the previous two things mentioned more consistently!!

步步惊心 is a good show! the actors and actresses are generally appealing (and not irritating) and most importantly, the plot is not bad! bsp knowledge does help a bit too hahahahah! (:

speaking of which, i should start thinking about uni apps and preparation for SAT!!

2012-01-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

something i ripped off raptitude.com, not that i agree with any, or disagree with all. just an interesting read and sets ppl thinking...

40 Belief-Shaking Remarks From a Ruthless Nonconformist

If there’s one thing Friedrich Nietzsche did well, it’s obliterate feel-good beliefs people have about themselves. He has been criticized for being a misanthrope, a subvert, a cynic and a pessimist, but I think these assessments are off the mark. I believe he only wanted human beings to be more honest with themselves.

He did have a remarkable gift for aphorism — he once declared, “It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.” A hundred years after his death, Nietzsche retains his disturbing talent for turning a person’s worldview upside-down with one jarring remark.

Even today his words remain controversial. They hit nerves. Most of his views are completely at odds with the status quo.

Here are 40 unsympathetic statements from the man himself. Many you’ll agree with. Others you will resist, but these are the ones to pay the most attention to — your beliefs are being challenged. It’s either an opportunity to grow, or to insist that you already know better. If any of them hit a nerve in you, ask yourself why.

***

1. People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.

2. He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.

3. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

4. There are no facts, only interpretations.

5. Morality is but the herd-instinct in the individual.

6. No one talks more passionately about his rights than he who in the depths of his soul doubts whether he has any.

7. Without music, life would be a mistake.

8. Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn’t.

9. In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.

10. The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

11. A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

12. We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the way in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.

13. No victor believes in chance.

14. Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies.

15. Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.

16. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

17. The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.

18. The future influences the present just as much as the past.

19. The most common lie is that which one tells himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.

20. I counsel you, my friends: Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.

21. Rejoicing in our joy, not suffering over our suffering, is what makes someone a friend.

22. God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight.

23. Success has always been a great liar.

24. Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.

25. What do you regard as most humane? To spare someone shame.

26. Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil.

27. When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one.

28. When one has a great deal to put into it a day has a hundred pockets.

29. Whoever despises himself nonetheless respects himself as one who despises.

30. All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.

31. What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.

32. Fear is the mother of morality.

33. A politician divides mankind into two classes: tools and enemies.

34. Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell.

35. There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.

36. The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness.

37. The Kingdom of Heaven is a condition of the heart — not something that comes upon the earth or after death.

38. What is the mark of liberation? No longer being ashamed in front of oneself.

39. Glance into the world just as though time were gone: and everything crooked will become straight to you.

40. We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once

2012-01-14T12:10:00.001+08:00

i decided i need to review the goals that i made last year!

and there they are:
1. Do WSC properly!
2. Quit Facebook addiction!
3. Be normal in SMTP
4. Not die in Chem O
5. Read at least 50 books!!
6. Read Newsweek EVERYWEEK
7. Get at least C grade for GP!
8. Master Qiang!!
9. Do all the splits by June!
10. Visit NYChoir and Alto 1!!
11. Practise my violin!
12. Stop KPop addiction!

ok some of them are really quite a joke and a resounding failure, but i think overall i didn't do a bad job hmmm.

1. Do WSC properly!

well i didn't do too badly for WSC! studied (quite) hard and had tons of fun! though i still cringe at the thought of fast food everyday in KL. learned a lot, especially about debates, and of course, general knowledge which occasionally turned out useful for GP. so overall: SUCCESS!

2. Quit Facebook addiction!
hmmmm this isn't that bad i guess. i shun off (most) games, though i still enjoy tetris battle and RC. (: and i don't spend that much time in FB though still have room for improvement!
3. Be normal in SMTP
I AM NORMAL YAY. if it means, perpendicular to the ground (lol). but i guess generally i managed to keep up with the pace, add in some fun, tease and bully a lot of people, torture some.

4. Not die in Chem O
NO COMMENTS

5. Read at least 50 books!!
epic failure. but i still read quite a few books la.

6. Read Newsweek EVERYWEEK
JOKE OF THE YEAR.
7. Get at least C grade for GP!
(Y)

8. Master Qiang!!
errrrrr. i guess i learnt my taolu, but not really master. WIP!
9. Do all the splits by June!
hahahhaha i can do only one of the splits recently ah well. can't force these kind of things, don't wanna risk injury!

10. Visit NYChoir and Alto 1!!
SORRY JUNIORS!

11. Practise my violin!
not too bad, i practise very very occasionally. room for improvement!

12. Stop KPop addiction!
resounding success!

all in all, i did a good job (i guess), time to make new goals for this year! it will be tough with a levels and stuff, but i won't let that 4 As conquer my whole life because there are still things that are more important! after all, there is a season for everything, doing things only at the right context and time is more wise than just pia-ing all the way. 9:

2012-01-14T12:01:00.000+08:00

jay chou song + jj voice = (((((((((:

it has been such an eventful first week of school. i'm so tired. when will it be holidays again!!!!!! 0: last year was FAR TOO SLACK. ok, maybe it's only me, everyone else so hardworking last year and got no problems this year.

nvm, better late than never! shall start being hardworking!

i can't help thinking there's just too much to thank for. it's unthinkable how i ended up in this situation that i'm in and i'm so glad to be able to make the decisions that i have to make. though i'm not sure if these decisions that i made were right, i trust that everything will work out for good.

there's really nothing to worry. (:

still writing my goals. must not be too ambitious, must set realistic goals and work towards them! :D

and so thankful for my classmates to have gone through the horrible first week of school together. i am happy that i'm not alone. (: and other friends also of course. time in school would be so sian without you all. (:

If

2012-01-03T17:26:00.002+08:00

If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

2012-01-03T15:16:00.005+08:00

do a short quiz to feed a hungry child in ethiopia. this is not a scam (from world food programme) so i do hope everyone will do the quiz! (: it's painless and easy! (:

2012-01-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

everyone is thanking everyone else for awesome 2011 and making new year resolutions so i figured i shall succumb to peer pressure. i have time now anyway since i'm printing stuff for game theory math haizzzzzzzzz.

i'm too lazy to name people because i assume you know who you are and hopefully i do give recognition to you anyway on a more regular basis. so here goes.

THANK YOU FOR THE AWESOME 2011! :D

(ok that was kind of lame)

on a more serious note, i am thankful of those who had made my life better, taught me stuff (even if it wasn't intentional), shared happy times, had not-so-happy times (ah well sometimes it's good to be reminded that the best things do not come in this life, but after), inspired me and most importantly, made 2011 fulfilling, fun and meaningful.

thank God for being Himself as usual, but yet always surprising me in ways that i can never even imagine, and showing Himself strong at my times of need. You know it, but i still want to praise You, for no one else can touch my heart like You do, and i want You alone to be my heart's desire. i know i can be still, and know that You are God, not just in 2011, but in all the days of my life. (:

and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

the sweet joy in believing the Lord will be unknown to you, just a concept, a thought, until the day you decide to taste it. i don't know who are the readers of this blog, neither do i know if you are saved or not, but i know that the Good Lord will work in the hearts of each and every one person, for every soul is precious and dear to Him.

i'm sleepy. shall continue with evaluation and reflection, short-term goals and long-terms goals some other time (or maybe i won't because i'm too lazy or because i don't really want my stalkers to know about these personal goals that i make) LOL.

meanwhile, chiong report for centad, MRP and write proposal for TDD!!!!!! >:(

and start planning on studying for SAT

2011-12-23T00:37:00.000+08:00

drowning in homework. i want to emo... ): but tmr will be a productive day! i shall have discipline. and maybe i'll have the discipline to get myself out of the internet and facebook and go to sleep soon! lols. i think this blog deserves an revival from its lengthy coma. inertia is indeed a force to be reckoned! (ok fine i know inertia is technically not a force)

so far, the holidays has been rather enriching. children's camp, teenz camp: of fun and games in the midst of grace and hope. seeing how lives are genuinely changed and touched by His love, witnessing prayers answered and needs met, experiencing the joy and peace that floods my heart when i am insecure and lonely, i must say that God is good.

sometimes people blame their circumstances for the misery that they feel, but i see any setbacks as a chance to learn to get up when i fall, and a chance to refocus my priorities on the eternity that really matters.

centad is, as usual, agonising. but relieved by rather awesome and bulliable groupmates. (:

muscles still aching from frogjumps, 200 situps and 200 squats. chloroethane does give some relief but it is a bit too temporaryyyy. sighss. must practise my qiang! oh, I ALMOST DID A SPLIT, just a bit more urghs. i will do it, i can do it, i must do it!!!!

feel fat after eating tang yuan NOOOOOOOO. but it tasted so good.

dunno why other blogs are going into some kind of philosophical thoughts collection which do not necessarily make sense and absolutely do not interest me. fortunately, or unfortunately, this blog is decidedly shallow and cheerful. (:

what a random post i have today! sorry, it's 12:37am so ah wells, brain not functioning anymore.

BETTER REGISTER FOR SATS SOON AHHHH

2011-11-23T19:11:00.000+08:00

well, i keep telling myself, there's nothing to be worried about. even if i screw around tmr, i'll still get a silver.

but that's really a selfish way of thinking. i can't convince myself into thinking that way and not worrying about anything.

after all, i'm taking away someone else's chance of getting a medal. i'm robbing away someone else's opportunity to go for icho next year. worst, i'm dashing away so many people's hopes.

when the results first came out, i thought, this must be some kind of mistake. of all people, very outstanding and intelligent, and definitely more knowledgeable than me in chem, why did i have to be so lucky. i am the one who asking for help during training sessions, even the most basic and fundamental questions baffle me, not to mention, i can't even grasp concepts within H2 syllabus. and yet, at this juncture, because of some form, i believe, of divine intervention, i'll be travelling to nus tmr (and hopefully not getting lost) and doing the practical.

the weight of so many people's hopes and dreams lies in my hands, so i will not turn it into more regret. working hard and resting well today, and keeping the flu in check!

and i won't be alone. (: "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps." Prov 16:9

holding on to truth and hope. what more can i ask for?

2011-11-23T16:10:00.001+08:00

chanced upon michael buble's christmas album in popular. so i went to youtube to listen. so these are just some of my favourites. (:

and, what really warms my heart about christmas is that 2000+ years ago, in some barn a small town called bethlehem, my saviour was born. a time of rejoicing and celebration.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9

2011-11-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

my favourite quote from conan!

"Oh poor you! Has it ever occured to you that wherever you go, someone dies?"

like DUH, it is a detective comic, of course the detective must HAPPEN to be there when someone dies. (;

ok sorry conan craze. (: chapter 164 now! still have 600+ to go! (:

2011-11-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

아파도 아무렇지 않은 척
눈물이 흘러도 감추는 법
마음한 쪽 그곳에 남겨놓고
아무일 없다는듯이 웃는 법
헤어지는 방법

마음이 이렇게 또 저물죠
수많은 미련들 또 허물죠
다시 지워가겠죠 아득해지겠죠
우리 서로 잊어가겠죠

내 의미없는 하루가 또 지나가겠죠
오 둘도없는 우리사랑 없던일이죠
널 보고싶다 해도 다신 볼수 없겠죠
아파도 참아야겠죠
헤어지는 방법이죠

너없는 하루가 익숙하죠
내일은 조금더 편하겠죠
점점 잊어가겠죠
어쩜 생각나겠죠
좋은 추억들만 남겠죠

내 의미없는 하루가 또 지나가겠죠
오 둘도없는 우리사랑 없던일이죠
널 보고싶다 해도 다신 볼수 없겠죠
아파도 참아야겠죠

아파도 아무렇지 않은 척
눈물이 흘러도 감추는 법
마음한 쪽 그곳에 남겨놓고
아무일 없다는듯이 웃는 법
헤어지는 방법이죠

내 가득고인 눈물만이 널 기억하고
또 행복했던 흔적들이 너무 많아서
나에게 사랑이란 너무 가슴아픈일
아파도 참아야겠죠
그렇게 잊겠죠

lyrics from: http://chacha-31.blogspot.com/

this must be the saddest song in the world. ): kyuhyun sings really well though. i want to be able to sing like him. pro ad libs plus pro high notes.

hmmm. PW IS OFFICIALLY OVER! (: finally. actually looking back, it was kind of fun because of my awesomest slaves! (: being slavedriver does have many benefits heh. i was reading the postcards that my groupmates wrote for me and the only thought i had in my head was 10 years down the road when i read these postcards again, i'll prob remember pw and all the wonderful memories that we had, because all the torture and suffering would have been forgotten by then. (:

cheers to jiaxi, huiqi and tingkai for making up the ultimate dreamteam of slaves!

i feel fat. eating too much and not exercising. visualising myself exercising and doing tao lu (unfortunately) does not count as training ):

STUDY FOR CHEM O RAH

2011-11-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

nice song. (:

DC is seriously the best. 700+ chapters and counting! i'm still at chapter 111 (: sounds like endless amounts of fun! (:

2011-11-05T08:59:00.000+08:00

this brings back memories lol.

i only just realised the voice actor for the narrator in powerpuff girls, is the same as the one who did spongebob. MINDBLOWN.

need to PLAN. if i fail to plan, i plan to fail. how true.

CHEMO!

having terrible muscleaches these days. never really have much time to recover before the next training.

OP, you will be down soon!

shall abstain from facebook! >.<

2011-11-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

best voice ever. (:

forgiven and forgotten. i guess i don't stay angry for very long. but shelving the anger doesn't mean it's gone forever, i just need to hide it so that it will be harder to surface. (:

2011-10-30T22:01:00.001+08:00

another boring post in this boring blog.

just started playing tetris battle on facebook. >.< perfect for relieving stress and venting anger at random people by sending them lines muahahahahaha. maybe i'll get addicted to facebook games again lolol. but seriously, tetris battle is really quite fun. (:

back to my boring life because i can't play facebook games that often and i have a whole lot of stuff to do.

i'm trying to do the right thing, though i know i do not enjoy it at all. not that it will make a difference to anyone anyway, but i still have to do the right thing, to be able to sleep without guilt at night.

it is so unpleasant that i want to give up and just say rude words at the person who put me through all these without even thinking. i just can't stand how stupid the whole situation is. and the stupid reasons that make me suffer.

stupid stupid stupid

then again i'm probably not that much smarter. but why do people care so much about aspects of MY life which doesn't even affect anyone else but myself.

and that is just YOUR opinion, which may or may not be true, and the truth is that there is no right and wrong in some stuff, and there is definitely no PROOF, even if some stupid self-proclaimed expert says it is. even THAT is his opinion, which may or may not be true. so stop insisting in your way to do things. it may not be the best, and it certainly does not work on me.

you may say that i'm just being some kind of egocentric idiot who thinks that normal rules don't apply to me. doesn't mean my opinions are different from the conventional means they are wrong.

as usual, temptations to use rude words. i will refrain.

ascend to my level, for i will not descend to yours.

and age doesn't mean anything, though most of the time it does. so it says a lot about some people who are old but still not wise. therefore, time is always on the side of the younger, sorry for this bit of bad news.

shall vent in tetris battle.

sian, a potentially productive day is consumed by a surge of angry thoughts. need to learn more self-control, though i guess this is already a big improvement from me trashing things around. i take it to myself instead of showing it (ok maybe it might not be that much of an improvement)

it's enough that there is no support given when i so sorely need it. it is hard enough that i am facing everything alone and trying to overcome all the challenges. adding more burden because of stupid whims is just too much.

stop making yourself, and the people around you, so miserable.

luckily i have found my refuge on a rock and not on sand. i know i will stay unshaken.

2011-10-25T01:49:00.000+08:00

wang lee hom's music never fails to tug my heartstrings.

2011-10-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

Ode

We are the music makers,

And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

-----Arthur O'Shaughnessy

2011-10-23T11:04:00.000+08:00

must not fall sick before OP!

pw is really very tiring, but i know it's the last lap and i shall persevere! just a little more.... after all, so much hard work has already been put in, and i won't let all that go to waste (as usual i'm not having an economist mindset lolololol sunk costs)

my awesome crazy group keeps me going! awesomest group in the world. (but i'm still not going to treat you all for any meals tyvm)

i know this is a little late, but thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday! particularly popo (yeehui), unnie (angela), keun unnie (huimin), zeng popo (jingyi), peining, jiaying, jiyeon, puayling and lynn who got me such an awesome cake (though i still can't figure out the mode of transport of it to school hmmm). (: and of course helping me not gain too much weight by sharing the cake with me!

big thank you to 11S7D for holding the October birthday cake thing on my birthday. 感动！0.0 <- ok this is supposed to be a 感动 face, just use your imagination.

and to those who wished me happy birthday on facebook, i only conclude that either you actually remembered my birthday, or you check your livefeed a lot. but either ways, kudos!

and my wonderful family who brought me out to awesome seafood dinner. (happy labour day, mama!) i know we have our differences and can't see eye-to-eye with some issues, but i know there are things that will never change.

and of course, thank you, God, for sustaining me throughout these 17 years, providing materials and love so abundantly. i know it is not because of my work or my efforts that i deserve it, but by Your grace.

5:50 violin solo!! (:

time to practise!

2011-10-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

it's been so long since i last blogged.

i miss wushu. ): need. to. train. i feel terribly unfit now. ): maybe i'll wake up very very early tmr to jog. that's provided i can wake up. or maybe not cos i'm not feeling very well lately.

promos results on isp. i have no comments.

actually i do but it seems inappropriate and weird to post it here. my mum shall listen to all the ranting i have as i lapse into a phase of disillusion that my grade aren't that bad after all. ah wells, my overall grades are meh, but i guess that's that.

super behind time for chem o zomg!!! ):

should go and study instead of wasting time here lol.

2011-09-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

couldn't have expressed this better.

Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in God?
... Student: Absolutely, sir.
Professor: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Professor: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From.. God.
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Professor: So who created evil?

(Student didn’t answer)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student: No, sir, there isn’t.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was a pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre) -> reminded of our epic gp relief tutor! (:

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The class was in uproar)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!

The student's name was Albert Einstein. (who the person isn't really that important. )

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. --Ephesians 3:16-19

2011-09-29T11:08:00.000+08:00

why am i blogging now??
ignoring the good english thing lolol. but i shall observe good spelling though not in complete sentences.. (:

my discipline leaves much to desire.

i wonder if i can cover all the content for bio... seems very impossible but actually i know it is possible.

GP promos tmr! don't really have a good feeling about it seeing that i could interpret a CHEM question wrongly (which led to disasterous results). had been putting quite a lot of effort on chem because i figured i really have to do well for chem to get into the chem o competition squad and i really don't want to see my efforts throughout the year come to naught.

9 days to the end! (:

been neglecting things that are very important, i think i should catch up. (:

for once, i am NOT looking forward to friday.

2011-09-27T16:32:00.000+08:00

'Oh, just tell yourself, "Ah, I'll be OK" ' (:

happy mugging for promos. (:

2011-09-23T21:05:00.000+08:00

As usual, I am still determined to write in proper English.

I feel very unprepared for promos, so I guess I will not be blogging for too long. (: Nothing much happening in my life, just studying and the usual stuff. Nevertheless it is still very interesting, the little pleasures and comforts that fuel me on, the security in my best friend ever, the one who had always been there, right from the start, and will continue to be there till the end. (:

Today was a semi-productive day! I sincerely hope that this trend will continue on (:

Oh no I really have nothing to talk about, in other words, nothing is really out of the ordinary.

Looking forward to fun times. (:

I had been reading xiaxue's blog, and I must say I find it exceedingly entertaining. Not to mention she writes quite well (I beg to differ from her political views though only to a certain extent, she talks sense unlike other netizens).

Back to work. Shall blog sparingly till end of promos.

I was watching some of the videos that I "favourited" a long time ago. Makes me miss the good old choir days, an inspiring teacher and the change brought about in my life.

MUST. STUDY. HARD. WILL. OWN. CHEM.

SHALL. NOT. PROCRASTINATE. I&R.

2011-09-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

I decided to write in correct grammar and spelling in my blog. For the sake of my dismal GP grade. Fine, I guess I should not say that it is dismal, let me just say that it is just not satisfactory.

LOL (oops) I shall see how long I can last typing like that.

I had a bit of a shock when I looked at my ISP results, hmmm time to start studying!

No, wait for it...

PANIC NOWWWWWW

No use getting hysterical. After transcription, I must translate to action! (:

By the way, girls talk FTW. (: Our class is seriously da best. (:

And I shall just not use FB and blogger lol

Ok bye!

2011-09-18T23:49:00.003+08:00

i feel terribly unproductive. ):

fatigue and weird hand twitching ):

distractions everywhere.

and i feel like sleeping NOOOOO.

been quite a rough week for me. i just typed out a bunch of angst but decided to backspace it all away and write it in my personal diary instead. freedom of expression comes with responsibility.
shall go to sleep.

like a lullaby.

2011-09-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

MAF was mad and fun. (: the Mad And Fun Mid Autumn Festival! haha i just invented a new form of alliteration! (:

anyway, wushu's performance was (Y). i almost came out late for the ending pose zzzzz because i was stoning (my favourite hobby of all time, jkjk) but the drums part was good. ((((((: we were so zheng qi hahahahahha!

that concludes my first wushu performance, though i didn't exactly do wushu. >.<

rest of MAF was just a blur, running around finding ppl, playing with sparklers and doing sodache. of failed dances and erm, lipcheering / mumbling of unfamiliar chinese words. luckily they have han yu pin yin for the chinese songs hmmmm. fine, my chinese is not that bad, but the songs are really quite cheem!

fun having supper at KAP! i'm still too lazy to check which haplogroup i fall under but fun teasing my jie jie! (:

going to sleep, sometimes i wish sunday never ends.

2011-09-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

tired of being tired.

i just found out something really cool today... if you look closely enough, you can literally see your heartbeat.

always good to be reminded that i'm still alive. (: it's another reason to be thankful and grateful about.

NEED. TO. START. STUDYING. FOR. PROMOS. AND. CHEM. O. DIE.

NEED. TO. HAVE. MORE. PROGRESS.

MUST. NOT. WASTE. TIME.

MUST. NOT. EMO.

yay self-motivation

2011-08-28T22:21:00.001+08:00

my thoughts of the recently concluded presidential elections.

last night i asked, who won? well, they didn't finish the counting but was predicting the time of release. my dad said, if tony tan win, then 1am will release; but if any of the rest win, then 4am will release (obviously showing disapproval of the inherent unspoken "unfairness" of it all about the decisions to recount votes and stuff).

anyway, either way i couldn't be bothered to stay up for the results. amusing to listen to many stories on how people chose who to vote, reasons ranging from how goodlooking the potential first lady to more "valid" reasons like i just don't want to vote for the PAP.

i woke up, picked up the newspapers. lo and behold, tony tan won.

i don't know what to think.

watching CNA and how they replay TT's lifestory over and over again without much mentioning of the other EQUALLY worthy candidates

meh.

enough of the macro, i shall just talk about other stuff.

MRP game theory (: feels like a miracle.

been slacking a lot, must must must mug and do more work!!!

AND must do PW LIKE A BOSSSS.

air's really bad these days. hope it gets better soon, it's affecting my respiratory system (and cough) and my general wellbeing.

super junior m on tv tonight! (Y)

my blog's so superficial nowadays. ): but i can't post stuff that i really mean to say cos it can be mean, politically incorrect or otherwise too big a secret to be on public domain. ah wells, maybe i should abandon blog for the privacy of private blog or paper-and-pen diary.

no matter how unrealistic and superficial kdrama is, it still never fails to give me hope of the existence of true love between humans.

ok, really must go study.

2011-08-27T13:49:00.001+08:00

sick again. there is no end to how susceptible my body is to influenza virus.

went for rach 3 yesterday.
good company + good music + friday = ((((((((((:

rach was pretty good. the piano is very spam (which is good cos of the spammish score), as expected. woodwinds were really very pro. schostakovich's symphony was woah. very dramatic. the climaxes were done very well, and the quieter parts also very nice. (: need i say more?

must practise violin more.

thanks jiaching, jiehui and jiaxi for going to the concert with me!! fun times. (: let's just conclude that we all can't draw!

glad that the hectic week is finally over (not to mention a perfect ending to it with rach 3 and friends) though it was emotionally draining, it was also very fulfilling. it's ironic how u have to first give before u receive that sense of satisfaction that you have helped someone, and that feeling transcends all other kinds of satisfaction that can be derived from schoolwork or other stuff.

and it makes me happy that people are willing to talk to me about things that you usually only entrust to your closer friend. makes me more confident that i'm a good friend to others, cos sometimes i try but it seems like i still fail.

need to do work. shall catch up on all the work and own!!!

looking at the pros sometimes makes me feel inferior, but this one is truly inspiring.

xuan zi on ice 1:10 AMAZING

shall mug!!!

2011-08-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

finished watching 溏心风暴之家好月圆. just feel bit sad that it is over. of course the ending is overly optimistic of the whole situation, but i guess an ending has to be happy (but at least not overly depressing) though i find it unlikely. but it wasn't a bad ending, though i just felt that bit of pity for the bad guy, being exposed by the person she never thought would turn against her, though it is ultimately for her own good. and of course, she repents eventually.

makes me want to think that the world hasn't gone that bad yet. everyone has a good side in their hearts, though i don't know how dominant that good side is.

amongst all the evilness, scheming and backstabbing, what i see is the innocence and kindheartedness of those who emerge out of all the dirt and mud. 出淤泥而不染. not many people are able to do that. unlike what i see everywhere else. for the a levels, for ensuring that students score well for the a levels, to get a headstart in life, to just gain a small advantage over others, one can cheat, lie, manipulate others, hurt other people's feelings, do all sorts of stuff that are against one's integrity, morals.

i'm talking about anyone in particular, more of just very disappointed about the general state of the values of people.

i guess i'm just being overly sensitive when i see people do things that are not right to me. i dare not say i set very high moral standards for myself, but sometimes the way people act is just out of the radius of acceptable.

certain things of the recent past came back, and it brought back memories. memories that i desperately want to forget. maybe i shouldn't be listening to certain genres of music.

acutely aware of how emotional i am.

ending off. finally the end of a stressful week. can wind down and relax a bit before starting work again!!

2011-08-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

7.5% free marks for bio and chem are finally over! (:

econs lecture test ):

some crazy technique here. i know it's a recording, all the notes are so clean it's scary.

but i still like this version better.

maybe i should manage my time better.

2011-08-21T09:01:00.000+08:00

renewed respect for rechargeable batteries.

jay chou's songs are still nice. emo to the max.

枫
乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影

我聆听沉积已久的心情
星星透明就像美丽的风景
走在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过

缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖随波到秋天
金黄的到天边
被风掠过像你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸

缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行泪只求我的眼泪
让爱散透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边

再想要剪开一夜风雨
随着北风凋零
我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
谁把窗外枫叶已经沉迷

did the enneagram personality test yesterday cos my bro (the real one) recommended it. i must say it is really very accurate. i personally think it's better than DISC and MBTI (though prob has about the same number of questions). and i can say that i learnt more about myself from the test. my personality type was the helper, which apparently was a shock to SOMEONE who cannot be classified under any personality type due to the uniqueness of the popo-type personality.

actually after reading the description, i guess i have to admit it quite aptly describes how i think and feel. just hope i won't progress to the extremes to become unhealthy.

ok, so here's the description. actually i C&P (selectively) so that my post will look nice and long. (: and ppl won't say i keep spamming videos (which actually i do) haha. (:
Twos believe deeply in the power of love as the prime source of everything good in life, and in many ways, they are right. But what some Twos call "love" and what is worthy of the name are very different things. In this personality type, we will see the widest possible uses of love, from disinterested, genuine love, to the flattering effusions of "pleasers," to the outright manipulation and the dangerous obsessions of a "stalker." There is tremendous variety among those who march under the banner of love, from the most selfless angels to the most hate-filled devils. Understanding the personality type Two will help us understand how they got that way.

In the Feeling Center
Although Twos have strong feelings for others, they have potential problems with their feelings. They tend to overexpress how positively they feel about others, while ignoring their negative feelings altogether. They see themselves as loving, caring people, yet all too often they love others only to have others love them in return. Their "love" is not free: expectations of repayment are attached. Twos are often hampered in their ability to truly love others because their self-image is highly invested in having only certain positive feelings for people, and not having other, "unpleasant" feelings.
What Jung describes is the ambivalence of the Two's feelings—the ability to shift from apparently totally positive feelings for others to highly negative ones. As we trace the deterioration of the Two along its Continuum of its traits, we can see that healthy Twos really do love others genuinely. But average Twos have mixed feelings: their love is nowhere near as pure or selfless as they want it to be. And in unhealthy Twos, the opposite of love is operative: hatred finds nourishment in burning resentments against others.
Problems with Hostility and Identity
Twos, Threes, and Fours have a common problem with hostility, although they manifest it in different ways. Twos deny that they have any hostile feelings whatsoever, concealing their aggressions not only from others, but also from themselves. Like everyone else, Twos have aggressive feelings, but they protect themselves from realizing their existence and extent because their self-image prohibits them from being openly hostile. They act aggressively only if they can convince themselves that their aggressions are for someone else's good, never for their own self-interest. Average to unhealthy Twos fear that if they were ever openly selfish or aggressive, not only would their negative behavior contradict their virtuous self-image, it would drive others away from them. They therefore deny to themselves (and to others) that they have any selfish or aggressive motives whatsoever, while interpreting their actual behavior in a way which allows them to maintain a positive self-image. They eventually become so practiced at this that they completely deceive themselves about the contradiction between their expressed motives and their real behavior. Unhealthy Twos become capable of acting both very selfishly and very aggressively, while, in their minds, they are neither selfish nor aggressive.

The source of their motivation is the need to be loved. However, Twos are always in danger of allowing their desire to be loved to deteriorate into the desire to control others. By gradually making others dependent on them, average Twos inevitably arouse resentments against themselves while demanding that others confirm how virtuous they are. When interpersonal conflicts arise, as they inevitably do because of their attempts to control others, average to unhealthy Twos always feel "more sinned against than sinning." They see themselves as martyrs who have sacrificed themselves selflessly without being appreciated for it in the least. Their repressed aggressive feelings and resentments eventually manifest themselves in severe psychosomatic complaints and physical illnesses which force others to take care of them.

Gaining the love of others is important to Twos because they fear that they are not loved for themselves alone. They feel that they will be loved only if they can earn love by always being good and by constantly sacrificing themselves for others. In a word, they fear that others would not love them unless they made others love them. (Twos could be briefly characterized as persons who, fearing that they are unlovable, spend their lives trying to make people love them.) Naturally, that creates a deep source of hidden aggression, and if people do not respond to them as they want, average to unhealthy Twos become increasingly resentful. But since they cannot consciously own up to their aggressive feelings, they express them indirectly, in manipulative behavior they disavow. It is mind-boggling to see how badly unhealthy Twos can treat others while justifying everything they do. But no matter how destructive their actions are, unhealthy Twos must persuade themselves that they have nothing but love and the purest of good intentions at heart.

One of the major ironies of all Twos is that, unless they are healthy, the focus of their attention is essentially on themselves, although they neither give this impression to others nor think of themselves as egocentric.

Twos do not love themselves unconditionally, and this is really the source of all the suffering that Twos will experience or cause. Their self-esteem is based on the condition that they be absolutely good and "unselfish." They must see themselves as good because they believe that only by being extraordinarily good and generous people will they ever obtain love from others. Further, the more dysfunctional the Two’s family system was, the more he will feel that he must sacrifice and repress his own needs in order to get love.

Unfortunately, the more Twos see their own needs as selfish, the more they must find indirect ways of meeting them. The Twos’ superegos are ever vigilant, judging not only the "selfishness" of the Two, but the responses of others to the Two’s help. "That was a nice thing Brenda said, but if you were really a lovable person, she would have given you a hug." In average to unhealthy Twos, very little can satisfy the superego. The Two cannot be self-sacrificing enough, and no response from others is sufficient to make Twos believe that they are loved. Ironically, Twos try to maintain their psychological survival by trying even harder to convince themselves and others (as well as their punitive superegos) that they truly are being good, selfless and without needs.
However, when they are healthy, Twos are able to move beyond their desperate search for love by learning to nurture themselves. They understand that self-nurturance is not selfish: in fact, it is essential if they are going to be of any real help to others. They know that to the degree that they can love themselves unconditionally, is the degree to which they do not have to get love from others by being good all the time. They can then be caring, unselfish, and disinterested, in the most positive meanings of those words, because their love is truly without agenda. Unfortunately, at the lower end of the personality Continuum, the "love" of unhealthy Twos is nothing more than a veneer for the desire to create dependencies to hold onto others. Because of the intensity of their neediness, Unhealthy Twos do evil in the name of good and can no longer tell the difference.

note to self: shall not get distracted by personality tests and go back to mugging.

speaking of which, if anyone managed to finish reading that pile of stuff, congrats! (: either you fall under the same category or you really want to know what kind of person i am like. for those who failed to survive, a very quick summary would be

The Helper: The Functions of Empathy and Altruism— the potential for other-directedness, thoughtfulness for others, genuine self-sacrifice, generosity, and nurturance. Negatively, the potential for intrusiveness, possessiveness, manipulation, and self-deception.

so much homework zomg.

oh no lecture test is coming up and can i just throw an atomic bomb and give everyone a shock that i think i'm actually going to fail. and actually i'm not good at econs at all. and that i haven't started studying yet. OH NOOOOOOOOO

why am i still slacking!! i should go list down all the stuff i need to do (transcription) and put everything into action (translation). i'm a true blue bio student, transcription initiation complex pls be formed!! and the inhibitors should just go away, why got so much inertia (maybe m is too large for my own good)

ok that's it bye

2011-08-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

2011-08-13T01:01:00.000+08:00

i just have to say:
0 and 1 are about the same distance away from infinity.

i couldn't be bothered with that minor difference of 1.

fallacy ad nauseam obviously doesn't work. you may think you are making a difference, making yourself more persuasive and reasonable, but the fact is you are making things worse.

it's like PW deadlines. making a whole list of deadlines, stressing and nagging the same thing repeatedly isn't going to actually make anyone meet the deadlines. and once one deadline is missed, poof, shall not bother about the rest of the deadlines because they is just no incentive to meet them.

but something ought to be done right?

no, let the invisible hands of supply and demand go into control. the free market works best (maybe not for environmental sustainability or meeting welfare needs) but for efficiency and benefits, no one argues against this makes economy work better as a whole.

thus, in the same way, a hands-off approach, laissez-faire, with maybe some form of positive incentives to continue boosting the overall welfare would be more ideal.

negative incentives can only work for a while. and mostly for situations when it is not that unpleasant to avoid doing something that will warrant negative incentives.

Chinese government during the Great Leap Forward (with major consequences which i'm too lazy to elaborate) had great hopes and expectations for their country. they dared to dream big, but translating that into policies that were unsound and expectations that were (obviously) unattainable eventually led to a famine.

point is, expectations can be big, but must stay rooted on the ground.

in the same way, breaking up a big task (and seemingly hard task to even convince one of doing the difficult task) into smaller parts and rewarding for every small part that is completed is much more palatable than reemphasising the need to trust authority and just do this hard task.

it's like saying, "do well in promos" every day of my life till the end of promos. and when one seems to be slacking or taking a break, "why don't you listen to what i say? can you just do it?", of course ending off with "whatever it is, do well in promos".

a better method is to say "ok, today you complete your math tut" and the next day "finish your bio" and for a job well done, give some sort of encouragement.

not that difficult right? but much more palatable. to top it off, garners respect and high morale.

then again this is just an analogy and i know implementation is hard (esp when there are other expectations a priori such as the assumption that one must study all the time).

not referring to anything in particular. just that i think certain teaching methods can be improved drastically just with some flexibility and empathy.

(i just realised how unorganised this post is but i couldn't be bothered lalalala)

2011-08-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

in a prison, there is always a prisoner and a prison guard.

just for one mistake, the prisoner is to live there for a time unknown, live a life so routine, so torturous that one won't even consider if a life worth living. but living with that small hope, that beam of light at the end of the tunnel that seems to get nearer and nearer everyday. holding steadfast to the belief that one day, eventually, no matter how long that day takes to come, the day of freedom and joy, would come.

however, the prison guard himself is a slave to the prison, willingly serving in the prison for reasons unknown. though not forcibly imprisoned, i would say that he is more like a prisoner than a prisoner. for a prisoner can look forward to the day of release, but the prison guard, there is no end to the misery. since he has brought the misery to himself, there is no turning back. yes, the prison guard can leave, leave for another job, but he knows deep in his heart that doing it is difficult.

if i had the choice, i would choose to be the prisoner. i would choose the stifling life that one's actions are dictated by someone else, but holding tight to hope, rather than choose to give up in the face of the practicalities and realities of this world.

thus, holding on to this hope, though there are many things i wish to have, many things i really really really really want to do, but just cannot fulfil due to the invisible hands controlling my life (actually not very invisible but not literally hands), the restrictions that are presented to me everyday, i can be a happy prisoner.

call me airing my grievances, say that i'm just being overly-optimistic. but i'm trying very hard not to lose that hope, and i can only hope for hope for hope is such an elusive thing, it can go anytime (think: volatile).

like business sentiments and other sorts of irrational exuberance, maybe (and even probably) the bubble will burst. maybe it will be a hard-landing. but i choose to hold on to the positive outlook, for it makes me happy and i'm obviously not a rational person that can consider the short-run and long-run impacts of my actions to justify every decision i make.

makes me wonder why my MBTI profile has T and J in it hmmmm.

ending here. while doing some things instead of others (tradeoff) may not make me happy, but if it makes someone else happy and that someone else matters to me (even just that little bit, though i still can't force myself to respect), i guess i'll still have to do it. after all, even for my personal gain it is worth it (choosing long run benefits even though the rate of return is indeterminate rather than short run is the best option by far).

i only just realised that this post is exceedingly long and angsty. i just need to VENT.

upcoming SPA makes me even more vexxed.

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BE MORE EMPATHATIC AND UNDERSTANDING? WHYYYYYYYY

i'm being an idiot as usual.

bye.

2011-08-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

hello.

so sorry if i dao sms/ email/ facebook, i know some ppl are trying to contact me. but i just don't feel like talking to anyone.

for that matter, i don't even want to talk here. but rest assured that i received all messages, it's just that i don't want to reply now, i'll reply soon, maybe later, maybe tmr.

human interaction is tiring. ):

does solitude offer strength over time, or is denial of it the only practical aim?

bye.

2011-07-30T15:27:00.001+08:00

when i see things that i don't want to see, hear things that i don't want to hear, get disgusted by the ugliness of people, this helps:
whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise,
think on these things.

BUT my head is going to EXPLODE.

banging and knocking at the adjacent block to build a stupid lift is irritating me. why can't they just quickly finish all the banging at one shot instead of banging little by little everyday. i'm not against the lift that stops at every floor being built, but just try not to disturb the rest of the ppl around. with a bit of efficiency and planning, i'm very sure it's possible. it's not a matter of spending more time and money, it's just about scheduling such that all the banging and knocking can be done all at once rather than doing it repeatedly over the course of a few days. i don't really know how construction works, but i'm sure that is very possible.

yahoogroups is equally bad. it doesn't help that everytime i post a message or upload a file it will tell me that my connection has timed out. i don't even know what that means, but i'm sure it's not my internet connection.

and more sources of noise that is at least a bit more pleasant but nevertheless distracting and irritating.

my compt may have virus, WHYYYYYYYYYY

does anyone have any idea how to convert mod to avi or something that moviemaker can read!?!! ):

must not waste more time.

head still hurts. i guess it's the aftermath of the banging and drilling.

speaking of aftermath, integration test ))))))))):

will not let chem lecture test be a repeat telecast

2011-07-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

i realised that i'm posting quite a bit.

just had gp test today. tmr: math integration test.

next week: chem lecture test. I SHALL MAKE MY COMEBACK.

THE HORRORS!

hmmm I&I.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

shall go do work.

2011-07-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

today nyc celebrated ms lim's birthday. i kind of wished i was there too.

been rather tired these few days, so sorry if i am dao, look dao, sound dao, act dao or zone out. i don't usually fall asleep during lectures, but i did during bio. -.- then again, the content was more or less learnt already so i guess i'm fine. should have went faster then maybe i won't sleep.

but at least it's one day without caffeine.

it's weird that i get high at nothing at all.

so far so good, 风平浪静
but the underlying currents still strong. not that i can do anything about it though. i can handle that.

i feel quite bad to say this, but i know i'm not alone, and it is a really really really comforting thought.

then again, everyone's situation is very different.

just don't understand why people cannot be forgiving. i make one mistake, i would inevitably hear a sneer, and then a bunch of criticisms, and the incident is picked on over and over and over again. until i make the next mistake.

i know it's my fault when i screw up. i know there was something that i could do to have prevented me from making the mistake that i made.

the sneer is the worst part. it feels like a betrayal of trust. or maybe i was wrong to believe that i won't be laughed by certain people when i make mistakes in front of them. so when i dare to make mistakes and inevitably make quite a few, the laughing may be soft but it becomes magnified and echoed.

i know it's a matter of discipline. but i sometimes need some time to chill.

i guess i should stop being so weak and not let myself get affected. it's bad enough that i have a lot of tasks to settle, mood swings can only reduce productivity.

falling sick. i can't be sure if it's just psychological. actually i'm quite sure it's a virus la. hopefully not worsened by whatever other stuff.

shall do my chem and math. i'm noob as usual. i shall not kid myself into thinking i am pro, cos i'm not. i only get lucky sometimes.

2011-07-24T02:22:00.001+08:00

春雨裡洗過的太陽

分開之後另一年的春天
記憶也像下雪一樣溶解
那些有你在身邊的影片
呼的一聲飛的老遠老遠
愛在夏天過完之後鎖在秋天
捱過冬天之後的我好了一些
嘿雨後的天上彩虹出現襯出一片藍天

我在淋過一場大雨之後的晴朗
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落傷得多深
然後忽然看懂雲的形狀

If you listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落傷得多深
每個呼吸都是新的芬芳

流下的眼淚留下了智慧
愛情會天亮也一定會黑
世界會等我它會問我冬天過去了沒
我在淋過一場大雨之後的晴朗
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落傷得多深
然後忽然看懂雲的形狀

If you listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落傷得多深
每個呼吸都是你的芬芳
春雨裡洗過的太陽

(: i guess i finally can let go. it had been about 3 months of anguish, but now i'm ok.

(note the grammar, had been = it's over now!!)

but of course, other looming problems await.

need to sleep. tired.

just realised that my profile about me thingy is tragically outdated.

i guess i need to pick myself up again, need not dwell in the past, but instead focus on what is to come. focus on possibilities rather than probabilities. believe in what is seemingly impossible to achieve because somehow, if it is the correct outcome, it will happen.

seems like i still believe in happy endings. i hope this belief won't die. and that i'm not the only one trying to put in the effort.

work's piling up cos i'm a slacker and procrastinater. and i really shouldn't lag behind for chem seeing that i'm somehow got into chem o so that proves my underlying potential, and in retrospect, my chem blocks results are unacceptable, even for my standards.

i guess i still did quite ok for blocks. mama seems pleased. (: with some luck i might use it as a treaty for worldwide peace (:

YAY. what a nice thought. maybe i'm hallucinating. sleep-deprivation is bad.

2011-07-20T00:11:00.000+08:00

manipulation of feelings.

sometimes i feel like the cat in the schrodinger's box. just that the certain radioactive substance doesn't kill, and it just sets off randomly and more frequently.

i only just realised that cold war has ended, not because it has became warm due to better relations, but because a missile was fired, and from now on, a head-on, bloody, violent battle has begin.

with a very unwilling opponent, and a very willing initiator.

some sort of mediator tries to cool the initiator down, to no avail and ends up getting spiraled into the conflict.

oh and did i mention the initiator being extremely powerful relative to the opponent, and everyone else has no choice but to side with this initiator, no matter how unreasonable and plain absurd the situation is.

all because the opponent just wanted to protect its sovereignty. all because the opponent did not want to do what the initiator thinks he should do. the strong country bullying the weak justifies its violence with a (very fallacious) argument about how being a stronger and older country results in it making better decisions.

of course, the small country did listen and understand the initiator country's stance, but just had different priorities as obviously pleasing another country does not make it anywhere near the agenda. there are so many other matters that need to be handled: economic problems like inflation, social problems and

not to forget the other spectator countries that try to fan the flames and make things worse for the weak country.

but at the end of the day, it's not about who wins. because no matter who wins, both sides get injured. perhaps the strong country will be unaffected, but the weak country is bound to suffer. after all, weak countries get bullied, we just have to accept this fate. it happens everywhere.

sometimes the weak country wonders why it's struggling so much. and always considers the possibility of just moving off somewhere else. but the time is not right yet. in due course, the weak country will have the ability to move away to escape the stifling atmosphere. the weak country wishes it could forgive the strong country, though it just seems terribly impossible. but divine intervention will come too, surely it will put forgiveness in the weak country, and repentance in the strong.

looking forward to the day when that happens.

enough of extended metaphors. i'm tired and i still have a lot of work.

need. something. sweet.

well, i guess at least i'm good at making myself feel better.

2011-07-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

a certain (idiotic and undeniably wormy) person said i don't update my blog so i shall do so.

ankle still feeling funny. and the ankle guard makes my skin itch ):

so much to thank for. not that i did well in blocks, but i learnt a very important lesson. and i got to know some of my friends better. that is definitely more precious than doing well in blocks.

putting everything into perspective, what really matters is the experience, the friendships forged and the ultimately leading to self-fulfilment and growth. learning more about myself and about those around me. i don't know if i'm naturally ill-disciplined, but i'm trying to cultivate better studying habits (instead of slacking away and not fully reaching my (U)nderlying potential.

GP time tunnel is still in the hypothetical stage! lalalala ~ so much talk about discipline but i'm evidently unrepentent.

self control, self control.

hakuna matata?

oh, i chose my sabbaticals! (: looking forward to after promos! :P but meanwhile i'll study hard to own!!

cramps make me so lethargic ):

disney songs make me feel better in my fluctuating moods.

sleepy. shall do work!!!

2011-07-11T23:50:00.001+08:00

it's ironic how i posted so much during and before the blocks, and now when i'm liberated, i'm not posting much.

still as busy as ever. ): i really need to start prioritising my time and making sure i get my work done (and enough sleep)

don't like expectations. it's always so hard to deliver results. expectations are not inherently bad but being unreasonable is. unreasonable expectations are a no-no. so are inflexible ones.

wasn't feeling very good after witnessing how someone very close to me was very two-faced and just kept thinking that i am plotting something and acting to be nice. i guess there are some people who just judge the actions of others based on what they think their motives are because they themselves have ulterior motives when they do stuff for others. truth is, usually when i try to help others (or just do something that may not be very convenient but doesn't hurt myself in any way except a bit more time and effort), i really don't do it for any gain. not that i'm all self-righteous and altruistic, but i just think that if it were something that wasn't detrimental to myself, i might as well make life a bit easier and nicer for others.

it's that simple. but i guess it's not easy if one always thinks that every action has an underlying motive.

i pity this sort of people because they do not see the beauty and purity of people's hearts. all they do is extrapolate their own dirty thoughts into others and never be able to see the good in others. the world must be a sad, dark place for them.

but whatever ppl feel about me, i must constantly remind myself that that shouldn't affect the way i see them or treat them. sharing a quote:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
— Kent M. Keith

ranting lots today. today was a long day so i guess i just need to unwind (and ignore my tutorials for a while). shall catch up all the lost work that i didn't complete today during tmr's long breaks!

2011-06-25T15:54:00.000+08:00

block tests coming... ): i kill block tests? or block tests kill me?

mutually assured destruction.

i will try my best given the limited time.

and meanwhile listen to happy and cheerful songs. abstaining from emo songs from now. (: and a good dose of chemicals that modify brain chemistry would be beneficial for me to concentrate and revise! i don't do drugs lol, just some nice caffeine is good. (:

i officially declare i like gong cha a lot.

just hope everything will go ok.

英雄也累了。i so agree. (:

牛仔很忙！it's such a quirky song. very catchy and fun. btw, the violin thingy is SO FAKE. definitely not jay chou playing RAH. but nvm, i will attempt it after blocks. (:

正义呼唤我，美女需要我，牛仔很忙的! this line is so o.o

2011-06-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

random song, i still like jay chou's songs a lot. the lyrics, the music, all very well done. though i still have a problem with his face haha. (: jkjk, nothing against it. (:

i'm still in the lepak mood. don't really feel like studying but i don't really have a choice. ): emotionally, physically, mentally very very tired. i guess it's always going to haunt me but i don't think my productivity will improve until i get a bit more sleep.

i guess studying in school might actually help.

must constantly control myself not to complain online. this is after all public domain. i guess i'll just rant in my personal diary.

i guess there is a mean side in everyone, i'm not sure how dominant it is in me, but i just hope it is not on the rise. just like how there is evil, but a good side to everyone. i choose to look only at the good side, and pretend that the evil side is non-existent, or at least not dominant.

practising my violin does have some therapeutic properties. i should do it more often. (: still thinking if i should audition for OMM, it seems hard to get in, but nevertheless not impossible (unlike other orchestras). i wonder what kind of piece i should play for the audition, can't be too difficult till i screw up, but i don't want to keep recycling old songs that i mastered long long time ago. recycling songs will be the last resort if i really can't find a suitable piece or i just can't find time to practise.

grading this sat. i hope i'll be ok. (:

i should really switch off the computer and study.

2011-06-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

finally back home. it's good to be back home. it's only now that i appreciate how nice singapore is. i can't really describe it, but the "WELCOME HOME" message in the airport just made me want to cry. home is still the best place to be in.

first-hand experience of a food desert.

and anti-competitive practices.

i don't really want to talk about it. but then again, this blog is for me to emo.

fine, i just think that i didn't get what i rightfully deserve. i don't really want to elaborate cos i don't wanna get killed.

)))))))))))))):

the opportunity costs were so steep, and now they are just sunk costs. i don't want to regret, but i can't help it.

i'm trying not to let it affect my pride and faith, but irrationality is getting the better of me.

i guess i just need some time to cool down and let go. can't do anything about it anyway.

after all, life is like a box of chocolates, you will never know what you will get. i wish it weren't that way. but i know there are some things i really can't control. getting frustrated doesn't change anything. so i shall just decide to feel content instead of frustrated.

i will mug like crazy for block tests to make up for all the opportunity costs. cannot screw up, must not screw up, WILL NOT SCREW UP.

but before that, i shall take a well-deserved rest.

and jog later. (obesity epidemic oh no)

2011-06-13T23:32:00.001+08:00

i guess the serotonin level in my brain is quite low (in other words, i'm emoing, again).

i just don't like it when i'm being picked on. it's just so ridiculous because
1. appeal to tradition (which is a logical fallacy)
2. personal attack
3. argumentum ad nauseam (repeating the same thing over and over again to seemingly prove a point)
4. worse of all, logical leaps everywhere.

fine, i'm not even a very logical person myself. i let myself get swayed by my emotions. but there isn't even an attempt to appeal to my emotions.

just my responsibility. i am responsible for my behaviour. but why am i irresponsible when i do something that i don't even deem as wrong?

i don't like it when others do the same thing as me (i won't even call it a mistake), i get scolded for it, but the consequences on others, i guess it's guessable.

irritated.

i hate to say this, but sometimes i just have stupid thoughts of hate and irritation that i can't get rid of until a long time later. i don't forget that easily, even though i try not to let it affect my judgment.

i know it's wrong, the very moment i get angry, i try to cool down. somehow i think a part of this anger gets accumulated in my subconscious which i may not be able to get rid of.

i don't have control over my subconscious. i want to but the whole point of it being the SUBconscious is that it's that i'm not conscious of it.

and when there is too much accumulation, ah well, pressure gets too high and presumingly the volume will increase, drastically.

and it's scary how my behaviour changed. it changed so much when i'm with different people. it's like i'm schizophrenic. there's almost two sides of me, polar opposites, and i don't understand them at all.

not to mention the impact on my mental growth. i am, after all, still trying to find out who i am and my place in this confusing world. what should be a safe haven is not really so.

sians, i'm off. still need to study. not as if i don't have enough problems bugging me, i still need to deal with an endless cycle of unresolvable problems.

i guess it'll turn out for the better. i have faith in that. this faith is what keeps me going. don't let this faith go away.

2011-06-13T17:49:00.001+08:00

2 more days. need i say more?

and i'm dead for blocks. for that matter, isp results are equally depressing. and i have no time for it because of wsc.

opportunity cost.
i wonder if i'm making the right choice. i'm not particularly rational anyways.

i was emoing, so i spammed jay chou.
metonymy.

on a brighter note, at least i can recall some of the stuff i memorised (and hopefully continue being able to recall until the end of blocks).

repetition makes me happy.

short one today, no more time. ):

2011-06-11T01:30:00.000+08:00

i was reading flowers for algernon again. my usual self allows me to feel touched again.

I guess the same thing is or will soon be happening to me. Now that it's definite, I don't want it to happen.
I put Algernon's body in a cheese box and buried him in the back yard. I cried.

i know i'm not Charlie or anything, and i know i won't lose my intelligence, but the thought of it happening is disheartening enough. to me, Algernon represents a like-minded friend, one who has experienced what you are facing, and knows how it feels. losing such a friend in such a manner is such a poignant scene.

hahahahaha anaphora.
then again, i majorly dislike short stories in the WSC reader that have explicitly or implicitly criticise Christianity. utter misrepresentation of the faith, in my opinion.

to think i still have to mug them anyways.

anyways, interesting motion that we (WSC team) practised debating on (and i am still very noob at debate, not to mention my nerves getting in the way). it's a very nice topic to debate about. TH prefers a philosopher king to a tyrannical democracy.

i need to increase my productive capacity. i almost always allow myself to get distracted and waste my time. must must must stop that.

but i still like kungfu panda. there is no secret ingredient. somehow, it's always a motivation for me, cos i'm noob (just like kungfu panda). and the only redeeming quality is that i'm not as fat as it. but then again it might be an advantage to be fat. -.-

whatevers, at least being noob is not something to be ashamed of ^^

that applies to everything else that i'm going through i guess.

will not brood over the past. must not.

sometimes i don't know if i'm just being oversensitive or maybe there's something that i should be concerned over.

and sometimes i'm very disappointed but i just keep it to myself. it's tough when something does something that doesn't matter to him/ her, but it really matters to me.

so busy... when i'm more free, i'll train more! after blocks, i'll train. i set a goal which i didn't achieve, and from my progress it'll take quite long. but i'm not hesitant to say that it's attainable. i must not dampen my own feelings. >.<

maybe when i'm more free, i'll sew another pink bean for fun. sewing is such a nice thing to do in leisure time. (:

looking forward to when i'm free. (:

2011-06-08T12:35:00.000+08:00

i guess it's good that not too many people know about my blog, or come to my blog. (: anonymity is bliss.

i just finished reading From Fact to Fiction handout even though it is not compulsory to read or anything. should write an essay soon but i am feeling really lazy.

it's a pretty weird experience typing nowadays cos i've grown nails for my right hand, but my left hand is prim and proper. so one side has a crisp tapping sound to it, while the other is muffled. haha.

i don't know why i always feel so tired, no matter what time of the day it is, or the number of hours i have already slept. i guess i had been relying on too much caffeine during the term time. why why why am i so unproductive? RAH.

i need to buck up and at least complete the essay that i'm meaning to complete. or at least do a few essay outlines. AND STUDY FOR WSC.

speaking of which, i just want to rant on the late-ness of the WSC history and music resource!! please come out soon or i'll start freaking out about how screwed i am for history. it's bad enough that i don't have any debate and humanities background per se, and my language skills aren't great either. i need time to mug, and too little time = more stress = less productive. ):

ok i shan't procrastinate anymore.

one more video.

2011-06-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

i like Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog so much that i actually want to make subtitles for it. haha, it's really good cos it questions what is right and wrong. hero vs anti-hero. who is the hero? who is the villain? is the villain the hero?

2011-05-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

this is mildly fun. (:

DialSimple.com - India Calling

LOL if i were a baby elephant, i assume i never really grew to be an adult elephant? my so-called "past life" is so screwed up!

on a happier note, at least i was cute my whole life in my past life. maybe that's why i am never cute in this life. -.-

2011-05-28T13:12:00.000+08:00

i decided i should write a proper post instead of being lazy and randomly posting videos.

the june holidays are finally here. (: this notion hasn't really sunk in. it still feels as if i still have to go school on monday. actually, technically i have to get to school on monday for wushu training, lol. i can't slack too much anyway.

DHAP in a few more days time! lololol i still haven't got down to editing my position paper. >.< but it's really quite slipshot from the effort and time i put in. but i think i should be more serious about it since after all it'll be so bad and i'll just be being a retarded member in the session. but i guess it'll be fun! (: have to research more i guess and maybe start writing a draft resolution. (:

looking forward to meeting new people at DHAP. i feel out-of-touch of the ppl outside hwachong and smtp. XD

WSC in three weeks!!! i feel very unprepared (which is really bad) but i'm working on it! (:

worse of all, BLOCK TESTS! i can't wait for them to be over, then i'll be carefree and happy. (:

maybe i shouldn't be wasting time writing in this doomed blog. but i wrote so long cos i figured that only those who are interested in my life will read this post till the end, and only at the end do i write things that really really really matter to me. more of my thoughts and reflections. (:

be yourself day was like a "dress lazily" day for me. didn't even think of what to wear. so i just wore wushu/ 401 class tee, and some berms. while other girls of my age are thinking of what to wear so that they can stand out from the crowd/ attract attention etc, i thought about my identity. who exactly am i? am i an wushuer, or just a student for smtp? what kind of image do i portray to others? am i just another average girl who does ok for tests, speaks her mind a lot, but nevertheless nothing out of the ordinary mould. some say "you are special, but so is everyone else." so is there anything about me that makes me especially special?

enough of pondering. been thinking a lot lately, maybe that's why i think i'm more quiet and reflective nowadays. some events made me realise that no one is indispensable. but i guess i'm selfish, i want to be indispensable, i want to matter so much that i can't be replaced. i want to be as important to someone else as they are important to me. i don't want to be the one always waiting for people to sms me. i know that that's not possible, but i'm just saying. i want to change how i think, i don't want to be so selfish.

i guess it's just some warped kind of self-fulfilment and acceptance by friends that i'm craving for.

that's it for today, really shouldn't be wasting time emo-ing. it's ironic how emo-ing makes me feel better.

2011-05-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

2011-05-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

柴米油盐酱醋茶，每点每滴都是幸福在发芽。月儿弯弯爱的傻，有了你什么都不差

这首歌总是令我感到很感动。最近一直在想一些事，有时想不开，这首歌正好能解开我心中的结。可能该是时候做个了结，该拿起的时候就要好好把握，该放下的时候就该毫不犹豫的放手。

那么的平凡却又深刻。

脑海里涌起无数回忆的水浪，但是这首歌现在对我的意义跟以往的很不同。

2011-05-17T10:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's hard to cope, but i'll try my best.

or maybe my best is not enough.

but i know i must not get discouraged, even though i already am. once i get discouraged, it's hard to stand up again. it's just so much easier to wallow in self-pity, thinking about how it would be like to just be put in an easier situation where i don't have to try so hard.

there's that distinction between knowing what to do and doing it in reality. it's simple, but it's not easy.

and that's also the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

ok, maybe i'm not really trying my best yet. there's always this fear that when i go all out to do something, to accomplish something, i might just fail and all effort will be for naught. it's a very scary feeling, and not to mention i guess i never really experience full-blown failure because i never dared to step out into the unknown that much.

it's quite disheartening that i just can't meet expectations. no matter how well i do, how good my score is, yes there can be improvement to be made. and when i really do well, i don't get the credit that i think so darn deserve.

sorry i'm angsty today. life is like a wave, with its troughs and crests. i guess now i'm right at the dydx = 0, trough moment. slowly, but surely, i'll rise again. i don't know how long i'll take, but i guess i'll try to get out of the negative regions asap. been in there for too long.

2011-05-14T16:50:00.000+08:00

消失的下雨天, 我好想再淋一遍

sometimes i wonder if i will regret. ten years down the road, will i look back, and regret my decision? or will i be glad that i did the right thing? will i be able to let go?

the sinking feeling that fills to the brim can be stifling. just trying to stop the water from overflowing. it seems impossible at first, but once you start, it will be ok. it had always been ok, and will continue to be. once in a while, when you are not so careful, some drops will fall off, but they can be wiped away quickly.

첫눈

this, too, shall pass.

on a lighter note, I'M SCREWED THIS WEEKEND!!! got too much work which i'm sure i can't finish, but i'll try my best. and i have vesak day to catch up too. (provided i have a efficient work time with my "family").

speaking of family, i haven't talked about the "family" ining (as opposed to outing) when we went to my da ge's house for a fun time and dinner!! (: even though i don't know many of my "family" that well, it was just so natural and comfortable to just talk together and enjoy each other's company.

and of course i need to thank popo for the listening ear she lent me and all the concern she has been showing.

isn't it true that people don't care that you know until they know that you care.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. --Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4, 8

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. --Ecclesiastes 4:9

i'm so glad for so much motivation. not just motivation to cheer up, do homework, but also motivation to be more like God, to pray for those who i believe in.

it's so amazing how God brings non-Christians to teach Christians. must always have humility. and doing as God leads to be a blessing in other people's lives.

2011-05-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

i don't understand a lot of things.

i wonder if i'll ever do.

so much work to do, but i seriously don't have enough time. ): wasted too much time emoing...

all the tutorials screaming my name!! HERE I COME!

must study for econs case study too. MUST NOT MUST NOT FLUNG THIS TIME!

i'm so tired maybe i should go to sleep.

2011-05-09T08:29:00.000+08:00

i was intending to write a post of my thoughts of PAP but decided not to in the fear of being accused of slander. >.<

the pledge says "to build a democratic nation", i don't see how that is done. ): GRCs, waving the carrot of more funding and upgrading opposes the whole spirit of democracy. yes, sacrificing some democracy for an efficient government may be necessary, but some form of opposition is needed for check-and-balance.

but i'm glad for aljunied. winning a GRC is a milestone for opposition.

my proposal for the opposition is that if you can't beat them, then join them. (: change from within, instead of opposing.

i guess my take on politics is quite screwed up. but no matter, i'm not writing a GP essay anyways.

i'm so sad, the long weekend is coming to an end and i feel very unprepared for math lecture test tmr. ): i can't stand how i make so many mistakes, will be more careful. for that matter, my math isn't that great in the first place but i'll try my best!

hopefully i'll do better in econs. i'm trying to learn independently here. must not rely on anyone to improve, but only my hard work and effort. i know it would be more efficient for me to seek help from experienced sources, but i just want to do it my way, just want to stand up on my own.

and to my best friend: i'm sorry.

2011-05-01T23:43:00.001+08:00

i like jay chou cos his songs are emo. and i am emo. so like dissolves like. >.<

feeling a lot better today. still bit dizzy and tired sometimes, but i guess i've generally recovered from the bowel emptying due to ingestion of suspicious week-old ice-cream. it seriously didn't taste bad, but accounts for hours of sitting around and running for the toilet.

quite tired... feel like sleeping -.-

i just realised that my so-called about me is very outdated. as in the later part. the front part will never get outdated!!!! (:

my bro saw monkeys climbing on the railings of the overhead bridge at macritchie!!! they were going from the busstop (possibly rubbish bin) from the opposite side back to macritchie!!! monkeys crossing overhead bridge! it's disturbing how they become "smarter" and learn human ways....

reminds me the jungle book's "i wanna be like you"...

Oh, oobee doo

I wanna be like you
I wanna walk like you
Talk like you, too
You'll see it's true
An ape like me
Can learn to be human too

anyways, been slacking too much these few days.... BAD. BAD. BAD.

maybe i need a corrective work order again. MUST NOT SLEEP IN CLASS. MUST DO TUTORIALS!!!!!

for that matter, i have to do a timed trial for econs essay! MUST NOT FLUNG ECONS TIMED ASSIGNMENT!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME MANAGEMENT!

TIME MANAGEMENT! TIME MANAGEMENT!!!

i figured that the CAPSLOCK will make me more motivated. looks like it has limited effects.

but for that matter DO CENTAD PROJECT PROPOSAL RAH!

should make a small list of things i need to do and attempt to complete.

(: bye!

2011-04-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

i feel like the biggest slacker in the world!!! ):

have a bit of a stomachache now. don't think i can go play sports. ):

bit sad now. >.<

i dunno if i'm just being judging to other ppl but sometimes i think badly of some ppl. it's like when they do/ say/ imply/ gesture something that i don't really like, i'll just form this screwed impression of them. NOOOOOO MUST NOT MUST NOT MUST NOT!!! i don't want to judge ppl but subconsciously do it! must control my subconscience!

but then again, i just want to persuade ppl not to invite trouble unto yourself. asking for trouble is just one of the things ppl do that i really can't understand.

fine, that's it for today! (: long weekend ftw! my stomach should quickly recover, it's making me feel weak. ):

2011-04-23T11:56:00.000+08:00

unfortunately, everything in my life screams EPIC FAIL.

my toe feels weird, my elbow feels weird too. ):

my hips and knees are still creaky, i guess they still haven't got used to anything.

and i failed swim test. >.< so ironic that i can swim but cannot tread water. i really don't know how. on the bright side, i get swimming lessons every week! (: if the teacher teaches basic strokes and other rubbish, i shall just ignore and start swimming. (:

i need to develop better study habits!!!

for the last 4 years, i had been getting away with all the xiao cong ming i have. i never really study, but i still do decently well. no incentive to study properly or develop good study habits since i can still do well without studying hard.

but now it's different. i want to be conscientious. i want to earn results from my hard work.

i guess this revelation is part of growing up. i'm finally maturing. >.<

still can't help feeling fatigue even after sleeping a lot. i guess my body is just catching up all the lost sleep. when getting emo becomes a way of life, sleep is my refuge. i wonder how it feels like to be grown up, but i don't want to grow up too fast, i want to be young and irresponsible for as long as i can.

i'm trying not to complain but PW really gets on my nerves. even though i wasn't going to fac outing anyway, but the request of not going fac outing to settle PI just rendered me speechless. the audacity! i'm suddenly in this mood to debate so here's my substantive. (: it's obviously a false dilemma that the going to the fac outing will result in a bad grade for PW. considering the time already put in for the PI, another 2 plus hours won't even make much of a difference. the experience of going for fac outing far outweighs the opportunity cost of the extra time that can be spent on PI (but probably would be spent on slacking anyways). therefore, it is unreasonable (and even unacceptable) to miss fac outing to do PI.

i guess u all can say that i'm irresponsible and obviously having the wrong priorities. school work first before other stuff? i beg to differ. but for the case of the fac outing, i guess i'm also not really in the position to criticise since i'm missing the fac outing too (but for tk-d, not doing PI or school work).

i'm suddenly in this very rebellious and arguing mood. >.< good for debate but bad for developing amiable relationships with others i guess. someone is right to say that to do so would be to win the debate but lose in life.

hmmmm i'm really sound a bit more mature than i usually do. i should pat myself in the back! (ok, maybe i'm reverting into my immature self again).

that's it for today, i'm hungry. >.<

2011-04-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

2011-04-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

this blog is dead again. >.< seriously can't find time!!! ):

maybe i should switch to tumblr. it's really for lazy bloggers like me who can never be bothered with writing. reblog ftw!

2011-03-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

CAN I EMO ))))))))))))):

i guess i tend to crack under pressure.

i'm not having much trouble understanding concepts or following lectures, it's just the whole mood that gets me. the "i didn't do my tutorial again" and everyone else does their tutorials on time really makes me depressed.

i guess i'm just finding a reason to be lazy

glad that i decided not to run for council. so glad. no offence, i'm not saying that it's bad to be a councillor, just that i don't think i'm suited for it anyways.

i'm so tired of expectations.

2011-03-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

can't resist the temptation to blog today. (: popo's a stalker (i know u are reading this muahahahahaha!) popo likes to poke me on fb and bully me when she can by being mean. >.< and she has a tendency to find my name on stuff that she looks at. but i still love my yeehui old popo. (:

i am a horrible smtp student. i am not smart, not mug, not hardcore. i don't even know what is my redeeming quality. i guess someone screwed up when offering me direct admission in. i am seriously behind time for tutorials (and i'm obviously procrastinating). and i sleep during smtp lecture lololol. i really really tried my best (and already drank teh bing in the morning) but my eyelids seemed to get heavier and heavier by the minute.

well, i don't know what i did, but somehow i got into chem o. biggest shock of my life, i thought it was a lost cause. must must must mug for chem!!!!! and go do organic chem.

WILLPOWER!!!!!

GOD'S POWER IS WITH ME RAHHH!

*starts kicking and punching around*

is it just me or is today really cold?

i miss wsc. i want to study for wsc and not have to worry about all the other stuffs that i have to do. but now wsc singapore round is over, i have lost track of all the stuffs that i'm supposed to do. behind time plus dunno who and what i am supposed to do for projects and stuff. >.<

just got pw question out. seems like the "exam" has started hahahaa.

i will try my best.

going to do tut. bye!

2011-03-21T19:48:00.000+08:00

my blog is seriously dead.

watching smtp videos again cos i'm procrastinating pw homework. >.<

i'm still in the celebratory mood, not facing the reality that i am seriously screwed for homework. i don't think i can finish homework in time for tomorrow. T.T why is there so much homework!!! )))))))))): i want to slack after being stressed for so long.

wsc regionals-- singapore round 2011. (: obssession over alpaca, mug, meet new ppl. i'm so glad to meet the independent team and of course, feel very close and similar to them. was not well-prepared at all so it was very miraculous that i actually got two medals-- 3rd in lit and 7th for essay writing. i guess i tried my best (: will attempt to do well in world!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so many things that i need to do, so many things i want to do. (:

rah rah rah rah i'm so sleepy and i'm doing nonsense.

wasting time for nothing.

fine fine don't say my blog is dead, i just posted. i miss church.

and taekwondo. ):

looking forward to next weekend already.

i need to sleep.

zzzz.

bye

2011-03-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

it's only monday and i miss church already! T.T what a blessing it is to be able to worship the one and only true God. <3

but of course thank God i can worship Him anywhere, anytime. (:

need to send an email out but can't remember to whom i have to send it to, and what the email address is.

hmmmmm.

chem o was THE BOMB. the sound of exploding brains in the audi, WOW. (:

needless to say, i died too.

kind of regretted not going to wushu after the selection test. feel like training RAH. my qiang will feel neglected and sad and i can't afford my qiang to hate me! T.T

i still can't sing the school song ARGH. i resigned to the fact that my chinese standard dropped and the lyrics are far too... errrr. chinese!

i need more autonomy in doing what i want to do. jc life is about independence right?

maybe it isn't. it's still about being controlled by the Big Brothers (and Sisters) and all sorts of self-proclaimed authority all round.

i'm tired but i know i need to go on. just felt like listening to miley cyrus (i don't care what other ppl say, whatever her personal life is like, but i think she can sing).

the climb.

butterfly, fly away. i really like this song, just gives me hope when there seems to be so much problems that cannot be overcome at home.

2011-03-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

artemis rocks. (:

this video just gives me a lot of inspiration and encouragement cos i know i'm not alone in this mess. everyone has to deal with expectations from themselves, parents, peers, teachers, the school etc. i know that i still have so many buddies to have fun with, to destress and just to enjoy a good time together.

i am convinced that my time management is probably about the best it can get, but obviously there are people who disagree. how am i going to just be assertive and not have to keep getting the green light from other ppl before doing something that i think will help in what's truly important in life? it's not just about the a levels, it's also about the non-academic exposure and academic competitions that are important. not just about school work. i'm not saying school work is not important, but at this point, it's not the most important. i still have the whole j2 year to make sure i do well for a levels. even if i have to catch up, i don't see how that would be a big problem.

confidence regained

2011-03-03T22:58:00.000+08:00

just realised that angsty posts always happen at the end of the month, without fail. i wonder why...

hmmmm maybe i'm one of the "angsty" ppl that the DM was talking about. at least i don't go flaming ppl in my blog hahahaha.

should i set up a class blog? (seeing that i'm AV rep, it's kind of my responsibility)

haha maybe i should explain this post title. finally finally i feel that i'm improving. and that i'm not lagging behind. (((((((((((: i guess if u had been reading the previous posts, u would have realised i post a lot less, emo a lot about how noob i am at wushu, dota, violin etc. and how i can't finish my tutorials in time and seriously can't do math.

i seriously CMI at my GC. ):

but i guess i kind of got over it. and i'm actually improving for wushu (but not really for dota haha). i don't care, i'm gonna train till i can do split by JUNE 2011!!!! and do a proper proper cartwheel (consistently!)

i guess if u are really really observant, u would have noticed i changed the "favourites" to "aims of 2011"!!! i shall be self-motivated, driven blah blah blah (really being) a good student (not pretending to). (:

oh man, i don't like to be talking to a non-existent "you". i shall just rant and talk to myself. (: i wonder who reads my blog. i guess not too many, seeing that there are so few tags. not too many i guess. (:

Fac CIP was FUN FUN FUN!! (: i guess the whole thing was very meaningful, but somehow i know there won't be longlasting effects of what we have done. but it was still worth it to clean the place up for the 2 ppl living in the house. and painting the house (the paint was flaking everywhere!) haha fac cip = mass OCD-ing session! (:

jiayou Artemis for Dramafeste!! (: winning isn't everything. in fact, it isn't anything. what's important is the bonds forged. and the fun that we share. i don't understand why ppl have to hate ppl from other facs. ):

i'm determined to write a long post cos SOMEONE says that my blog is full of videos and no words. it's not true now! (:

hmmm what else. OH! (: EPIC HANGMAN DURING BIO! (((((((((((: everything (including non-science-related) was guessed within a few alphabets guessed. (: EPIC WIN. i'm so proud of my class. we (not really including me, unfortunately) are not just insane at math and sciences, but we are PhDs at random studies! (:

hahaha i shall go study for WSC!! will finish econs BY TODAY!! (:

the sad truth

2011-02-23T19:07:00.003+08:00

haha weird insights and thoughts after GP lesson. how nice. haha how to portray an image of a good student! i can't pretend to study/ mug. )))))): fine, i shall try to really be a good student haha. AND the distinction between reality and image. truth is, the truth is just our perception. and seeing that perceptions are often false, what we perceive as the truth is actually not really the truth.

for that matter, how do i know that i'm not living in the matrix?

i resign to the fact that i'm actually not good at chem. failed attempts to do chem tutorial.

maybe i shouldn't delude myself into trying out for chem olympiad when i know my incompetence.

for that matter, i resign to the fact that i'm not good at math either. but at least i tried, i really did. of course it was possible to have put in more effort, but we also learnt that there would be opportunity cost and evidently i chose not to spend my time on math. doing AMC while getting distracted by the screams and cheering of a certain faculty isn't exactly enjoyable. it's not the fac's fault, it's just bad planning so it's no one's fault. just that i really thought it was a waste cos i know i could have did better.

spamming smileys in my math tutorial to comfort myself of not getting the smiley in math tutor's records (cos i didn't do the tutorial). ):

SHALL CHIONG IT TONIGHT.

only one plus weeks into real lessons and i already can't cope. ):

i still suck at wushu. the only consolation that i can have is that i have quite good stamina. and i can almost do a front split. besides that, 100% useless.

i'm still coughing but i really want to donate blood tmr. will they allow me to?

i'm getting very discouraged these days, but i'm not giving up. life is worth the living just because He lives. that is enough. trust in God's plan. love in God's arms. faith in God's son.

Master Potter, why do you labor all day,
Giving such effort to rough, worthless pieces of clay?
Why such feeling in your hands?
Why such care in ev'ry touch?
Why all the struggle? Your creation is nothing but dust.

Chorus
I'm molding a masterpiece, a work of great beauty.
I'm molding a masterpiece; my labors not done.
A trophy, a treasure of worth beyond measure
I'm molding a masterpiece, a masterpiece of love.

Loving Jesus, why are the children all here,
Gathered around You and eagerly clinging so near?
Urgent matters clamor loudly, and the children interfere
Why do You hold them, Why do you hold them,
Why do you hold them, and so tenderly dry ev'ry tear,

Heavenly Father, sometimes I question Your way:
Why do you ask me to mold simple pieces of clay?
Give me eyes to see the future, though it's hidden from my view;
Give me compassion as I'm molding a treasure for You.

2011-02-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

i don't know if i'm plain stupid and dumb.

i'm sick with sore throat and cough for so so so many days already. when i cough, i can feel the pressure at my ribcages. and the phlegm building up in my throat just makes me unable to breathe.

but i still care to go for training.

i don't know why i'm doing this. torturing myself for something i know i won't excel in. harbouring so much false hope.

and the worst part is that i'm already handicapped (not literally, don't worry, i mean figuratively). it's sad that i know i can put in lots and lots of effort now, but i'll probably not even reach the standard of what ppl start off with.

and of course, the price of being noob is being ignored cos all the attention go the pro-er ppl.

enough said. i don't know if i'm making the right choice. i don't know if pursuing a passion is worth torturing myself so much.

2011-02-15T20:58:00.000+08:00

Artemis fac dance ROCKS TO THE MAXXXXX! (:

and and and i'm so happy that my mortal and angel both write to me yay!! (:

on a more serious note, i can't stand ppl who can't take no for an answer. when i say no or later, i mean it. if i say no, it means i don't want to do it. if i say later, it will happen eventually in the near future, probably within the next half an hour. and so why need to make a big fuss when i don't do it immediately. my world doesn't revolve around anyone.

urgh, i was all in the mood to blog but now i'm not so bye!

2011-02-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

i can't stand it. i usually don't reply to stuff in my tagboard nowadays, but popo is making me make an exception!!!!! RAH and while i'm doing that, i shall randomly reply to other ppl too. (:

popo!!! (: i know u want to be in my og not because of me lor. ))))))): hahaha u know what i mean. (: jkjk, u know i'm obsessed over my search for gong gong. (: slippery slope was fun!!! (: u are old already la, it's ok. won't end up in same class as u leh T.T but promise me u'll come and play cards with me!!!!! (:

elo: hope my classmates are WILLING to play cards with me lor. (: usually guai ppl aren't enthu about breaking rules. ): btw, still struggling with air in g. my finger tips always flake and get blisters when i play too long. so irritating. i'm waiting for some hard skin to grow out and i can play all i like!! (:

chingyee: haha i guess i'm kind of definitely in BCME le. hopefully same class as u!! (: we can have fun together yay!! (:

random junior: yes, super junior is awesomely awesome. i <3 kyuhyun and leeteuk!!! (:

another random junior (are u really another one, or the same one? actually can guess but i'm not sure haha): kpop rocks!!! (: suju! (: xia yi zhan xing fu now a bit boring leh, i only like xiao xiao bin!! (:

sarah: haha thanks for the encouragement! (: actually i'm getting lots of help from a friend who is not in my school. (: so all the progress isn't exactly my work, i have kind of a personal trainer. :P but u guys did so much in teaching me the basics lor. i'm still really noob but i'm trying my best! (: btw, i like xuan zi!!! (: super inspired by the cny performance. (:

jiaqi: i know strings is really nice, but i too noob le. btw, nyse conductor rocks ttm! (: i can understand why u ppl love strings so much. (:

yvonne: haha classical music FTW! (:

angela unnie: hahahaha beast beast beast beast!!! (: they rock man, i kind of like yoseob now, but i still can't recognise all of them.

huimin unnie: we are crazy in seoul garden hahahaha. i know i ate the most. >.<

btw, spammers pls GET OUT!! so irritating that i have to log into cbox.ws everytime to delete the stupid tags that they put. and cbox seriously doesn't filter the spam away. >.< for that matter, the tags still come even though i don't allow the links anymore, so there's no use in tagging that u like my blog even though i know u don't.

hmmm, school tmr. i don't want orientation to end, yet i want to quickly start on lectures cos this is seriously not intellectually challenging. in other words, i feel stagnated and like a slacker when i don't study but i can't find a reason to study plus i don't want to be a mugger. >.<

OG7 still rocks! (:

i beginning to like my school. (: that's a good sign.

can these pros just GO AWAY?? i thought kung fu panda was supposed to be fat. but it seems like everyone is pro and thin. the role should be reserved for fat ppl like me

BOOM BOOM POW OG7!!!!!!! (:

2011-02-03T12:20:00.000+08:00

((((((((((((((((((((((:

orientation with OG 7 is over. so darn freaking sad. 4 days of fun and laughter. still rmb how it started. came in during the sodache session. missed the icebreakers, but i expect the icebreakers didn't exactly break the ice anyways.

girls and guys were immiscible liquids, like oil and water. totally segregated, and seemingly have to mix. T.T well, at least i could dissolve into the girls solution. (:

then i dunno what happened, maybe some kind of enzyme or catalyst which was added during the games. then we were one big united team/ solution, of course with the exception of ponners but nvm them. >.<'

ok fine, bad analogy.

games were funnnnnnn! running in the dress thingy was epic. haha, didn't even put my hands in. too bad for the buff/ fat guys.

didn't exactly cheer during the first few times when we had to cheer. but after a while, i guess i felt the 7 spirit and cheered tooooo. >.<

OG dinner was FUN. island creamery from zi song, pizza from canadian and doublecheese burger with milo at macs!!! (: and some fries, but i still wasn't really full. >.< fat fat fat RAH. got chased out of macs cos we were playing cards. ): bridge is the best best bestest game on earth!!! (: too bad popo, the gambling queen, is not in my OG. practically no one ate at macs except me and a few others, so i feel like a mega huge big fat PIG. nvm i shall train harder in wushu!!!!

another dinner at macs, just that this time it was at KAP, not serene centre. >.< (: amusing forfeit to order a macbook from macs. (: but it was pretty lame cos the cashier didn't get it and asked again. then he just changed his order to something more normal. >.<

lame games like "i have never..." and "truth or truth". >.< luckily no one asked me about relationship related questions hahahahaha. (:

and not forgetting, talking nonsense/ talking cock all the time to pass the time. but inevitably bonding us together wooohooo. (:

in short, OG7 rocks!!!

seems like i won't get free rides to school ever. T.T

anyways, i conquered the slippery slope YAY. of course with the help of some physics knowledge haha, like to increase pressure, we must exert force on fingers and toes. and never ever ever put your hand on the other person's hand. >.<

sad that i'm not gonna take physics. ):

in the end, i still decided to take BCME. apparently BCMEH is not exactly viable if i am in SMTP. and i should be concentrating on math and sciences anyways. oh no i hope i won't be stuck in a class full of mugging nerds and competitive peeps who don't want to be friends if i excel better in my studies. pls pls NO. i want a nice class like 401!!!! T.T

and i need to find a cca with lots of locals and nice ppl or i'll be able to speak pro chinese even though i don't take chinese.

ok fine, that's that. going off to visit relatives, but of course the main feature would be EATING PINEAPPLE TARTS, BAKKWA AND ALL THE OTHER FATTENING GOODIES. >.<

2011-01-30T03:03:00.000+08:00

no matter how i try, things are beyond my control. i wish it wouldn't be so bleak.

2011-01-29T11:54:00.001+08:00

applying for subject combination in the all-so-convenient school portal which is sooooooo intelligent.... the most traumatic experience of my life.

ok, BCME, PCME, update.

sorry u need to update your cca records first. blah blah blah....

ok update my cca records by adding choir. >.<

ok, BCME, PCME, update.

sorry u need to update your cip records first. blah blah blabber.

ok, whatever. it wasn't a "compulsory" field (since there wasn't any * asterisk)

FINALLY.

btw, that happened REPEATEDLY.

and for some weird reason, foreign address is compulsory according to my citizenship record (which is singapore citizen). i don't get it at all. >.<

conclusion: i detest screwed technology.

besides that, the intelligent portal, though not intelligent, has an average IQ but can be extremely messy and disorganised. sounds like me. ._.

still can't decide on cca. wushu????? kind of decided on no taekwondo. but the rest is a blur. T.T maybe i should just join malay cultural society and be the only one who can actually read, speak and write some malay (even though i forgot most of the stuff)

beanachu!!!!!! (: epic high teasing the beanasaur. (:

OG 7!! WOOOOOOOO! (:

still not good at recognising faces and names. hmmm, i guess it'll get better.

(: tired. but going ECP later to playyyyyy! (:

good luck to those taking black belt grading today! btw, go away u pros. stop demoralising people haha. (:

then again, wushu ppl are much more demoralising. T.T can ppl stop uploading videos of themselves or china ppl doing crazy stuff that i can't do RAH.

2011-01-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

taekwondo training later!!!!!! i wonder how it would be like, since i had been practising another style of tkd. (:

still at a loss of whether to join wushu or taekwondo!!!! wushu is harder so i'll have a tough time learning and trying to catch up, but it is a lot cooler and more rewarding. but for taekwondo, i'm more likely to take part in compts, and not look bad next to my peers. >.< HOW!!!! hmmmm, maybe i should just join whatever Geraldine joins. then we can be newbies tgt! (: haha i doubt she comes to my blog anyways so wells.

(:

looking forward to dinner out after tkd. (:

why is the weather always bad? i don't like it when it rains so suddenly and heavily.

i don't want orientation to start. everyday end at 6!!! T.T it better be interesting or fun or both. and hopefully not the kind of stuff that requires us to cheer and scream. that's seriously the worst thing that can happen. i hope it won't be too brainless too, i don't want to feel like i'm wasting my time. ):

i can't wait for my schedule to be confirmed. it's disconcerting that i don't know when my lessons are when the first month is going to be over. i need to know cos i need to schedule my time properly but obviously that can't be done.

i can't even plan when i can do quiet time and stuff like that, unless i plan them real early or real late. and i'm determined to practise my violin more.

i'm seriously horrible at violin, i must practise more. it's not really helpful when i try to play for worship. >.<

had been listening to super junior's old old songs, and also a lot of their subgroup songs. i like ALL the subgroups. >.< maybe except suju M since i really don't like hankyung.

2011-01-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

i want to learn to play the viola!!! it's like a violin minus the E string (highest) and plus a C string!!! (: G, D and A strings remain. and it's really much bigger than a violin, and the sound is nicer, lower, more mellow and warm. (:

hmmmmm haven't really been blogging. i am very very very happy with my o level results. >.< the best i can hope for. THANK GOD. (: had this real weird celebration with my family, with my siblings complaining about how THEY didn't get a celebration for their o level results. i feel so mean.

boreddddddd

orientation ends so late everyday T.T hopefully my OG contains nice ppl or i'll really die of boredom.

sian i have nothing to say

2011-01-13T12:00:00.000+08:00

just felt like blogging again. sometimes blogging is more fun than writing in my personal diary since diary is only for stuff so personal that i don't want others to read. nowadays, nothing much of that kind of thing.

hwa chong open house was hmmmm. how should i put it? actually i wrote a few adjectives which kind of describe my experience rather succinctly, but decided that they may be a little too offensive to write in a blog since i dunno who would be prodding around blogs, googling their own names and finding offensive content in blogs that may potentially affect my school life.

and the most likely candidate of the "who" doing the aforementioned activities which seem neither meaningful nor entertaining would be ________ (fill in your name muahahaha).

actually i didn't have a candidate in mind, it's just that i keep having this weird feeling that people who don't like me are reading my blog to find content that potentially sabotage me. ): just a random feeling i got. i know i have friends here, don't fill your name in!! (:

hmmmm back to hwa chong open house. i didn't attend any talk despite the lure of the most wonderful invention in singapore, aka AIRCON. went looking around at the different cca booths. i guess i have a good idea of what cca i want to join. TKD or WUSHU!!!!! difficult choice RAH!! i shall wait till cca exhibition i guess. i rather not go to a cca that will travel overseas since i know i won't get to go, and don't want something too meaningless or waste time.

i was still thinking about CHOIR or STRINGS! tempting to choose something i'm already kind of good at. or rather, comparatively good at since i seriously cmi for sports or martial arts.

i guess maybe those organising events kind of cca would be ok also. can use it to boost portfolio and have loads of fun along the way.

hmmm still thinking about ASTRO club. (: i guess it complements my BCME subject combi, cos i still kind of like physics but won't be taking it anymore.

haha had lots of fun filling my name and contact details into lists and lists. (and why am i the first name in wushu!! then the nywushu ppl added theirs to make me not look too pathetic >.<)

looking forward to dinner at linghui's! (((((((((: i'm sure she can cook super well! (:

[여친] 자기야 많이 먹어
[신동] 우가우가! 우가우가!

[성민] 내 여자친구는 ([신동] 너무 예뻐요) 내 여자친구는 ([은혁] 맘은 더 예뻐요)
하지만 그녀에게도 단한가지 단점 - 나보다 못한 요리솜씨

[은혁] 밥도 못해 국도 못해
[신동] 이것 저것 아무것도 못해!
[은혁] 라면에 물도 못 맞추고
[신동] 간장인지 콜란지도 구별 못해
[은혁] 너를 너무 좋아하지만...
[신동] 너를 너무 사랑하지만...
[은혁] 정말 이대로라면
[신동] ...결혼은 좀

[이특] 왠일인지 어느날 저녁 초대 한다며
너의 집으로 나를 불렀지 나는 기대했었지
[예성] 굶고 굶고 또 굶어 니가 해줄 맛있는 저녁 기대하며
상상하며 숟가락을 든 그 순간 ([은혁] 이렇게 맛없어도 되나요?!*)

[강인] 이렇게 맛없어도 되나요? 도대체 무얼넣은건가요? ([예성] 어흐 너무 맛없어)
차라리 내가 눈을 감고 만든게 더 나을것만 같아요
[이특] 맛이 어떠냐 내게 묻네요 ([은혁] 뭐야아아!)
또 내게 무슨 힘이 있나요 ([성민] 어어, 어어 맛있다아)

정말 맛있다라고 했더니 그녀 웃으며 한그릇 더 주네요... 날 살려줘

[은혁] 며칠동안 그녀 아무 연락 없고

[신동] 그녀 친구 통해 안 그녀의 소식

[은혁+신동] 영어 ([이특] 암풀) 일어 ([성민] 아노) 중국어 ([신동] 라이라이~) 학원을 다니느라 시간없다 하네요!

[예성] 그런 그녀 갑자기 내게 연락 해왔죠 다시 한번 더 저녁 초대를 하겠다네요
[이특] 난 괜찮다 배부르다 말을 했지만 혹시나 하는 그런 마음으로 너에게 달려 갔는데

[강인] 이렇게 맛있어도 되나요? ([성민] 이렇게 맛있어도 되나요?) 이게 사람이 만든 건가요? ([예성] 어흐 맛있어!)
[성민] 이런게 있다는 소문도 나는 들어본적도 없는데

[이특] 맛이 어떠냐 내게 묻네요 ([성민] 좋아좋아! 너무 좋아아아!) 눈물 흘리며 난 말했죠 ([이특] 미치겠어어!)
[예성] 머리에 털나고 이렇게 맛있는 요리는 난 처음이야

[민] 알고보니 그녀는 나를 위해서
[예성] 요리학원을 다녔던 거죠 ([단체] 어어어 맛있죠!) 나는 그것도 모른채

[이특] 이렇게 맛없어도--- ([신동] 아니지!)
[강인] 이렇게 맛있어도 되나요? ([신동] 그렇지!) 이게 사람이 만든 건가요? ([성민] 자기야!)
[성민] 이런게 있다는 소문도 나는 들어본적도 없는데 ([예성] 허우 맛있어 어떡해!!) ([이특] 너무 좋아 너무 좋아!)
[이특] 맛이어떠냐 내게 묻네요 ([예성] 최고!!) 눈물을 흘리며 난 말했죠
[예성] 머리에 털나고 이렇게 맛있는 요리는 난 처음이야
([신동] 아하하하! ) ([강인] 아 맛있어요!) ([성민] 아헤헤헤) ([은혁] 더줘요~)

[여친] 자기야 배불러?

Honey Lets eat a lot!
Uga Uga
Uga Uga
(Sungmin)My girlfriend is too pretty
(Shindong)Is too pretty
(Sungmin)My girlfriend her heart is prettier
(Sungmin)But she also had one weak point
(Sungmin)She is a more incapable cook than me
(Eunhyuk)Can't cook rice either can't cook soup either
(Shindong)This or that she can't cook anything
(Eunhyuk)She can't even boil water
(Shindong)She can't tell between soya sauce and cola
(Eunhyuk)I like you a lot but
(Shindong)I love you a lot but
(Eunhyuk)If it is really like this
(Shindong)Marriage is just...
(leeteuk)For some reason you invited me to dinner
You called me over to your house
I was looking forward to it
(Yesung) I starved and starved and starved
While anticipating the delicious dinner you would serve me
And imagining your delicious dinner i took a spoonful
(Everyone)Can it be this tasteless?
This tasteless
(Kangin) What on earth did you put in it?
(Yesung: Ew it's so tasteless)
Put in it
(kangin)I could cook better than this with my eyes closed
(leeteuk)How could you ask me about the taste?
The taste
(Eunhyuk: What?!)
(leeteuk)What am i to say?
To say
(Sungmin: ooh ohh its delicious <3)
(leeteuk)I told her it's really tasty
And she smiles and gives me another serving
Please save me!! D:
(Eunhyuk)I haven't gotten in touch with her for a few days
(Shindong)And her friend did not tell me news of her
(she's been going to)
(Shindong)English (Leeteuk: I'm full)
(Eunhyuk)Japanese (sungmin: excuse me)
(Shindong)Chinese (Shindong: come)
(Eunhyuk&shindong)Lesson and has no time
(Yesung)Than she suddenly got in contact with me
And invited me to dinner once more
(Leeteuk)I told her its alright i'm full
But i run to her hopefully with those fellings
(kangin)Can it be delicious?
(everyone)Delicious?
(Kangin)Has a person made this?
Made this? (Yesung: ohh it is delicious!)
(sungmin)But i haven't encouterd of such a taste
Even in rumors
(leeteuk)So she asks me about the taste
the taste
Its good its good! I shed a tear as i tell you (Everyone: i tell you)
(yesung)It's the first time since hair has grown on my head
I had such delicious cooking
(sungmin)And i realized that for me
(Yesung)she had been going to cooking school
I did not know she did that (Everyone: So delicious!)

(leeteuk)Can it be so tasteless (Shindong: Its not)
Can it be so delicious (Shindong: That's right!)
delicious delicious
Has a person made this? (made this?)
Hey honey but i haven't encountered of such taste
Even in rumors
So she asks me about the taste (the taste)
It's the best as i shed a tear and told her
I told her it's the first time since hair has grown on my head
That i had such delicious cooking~

Hahaha, its delicious ehehehe i want more!

Honey are you full?

this song is so cute haha. (: looking forward to tmr too <3

ok, bye! (:

2011-01-12T16:56:00.000+08:00

the fingers of my left hand hurt a lot. when will i ever get used to playing violin?

ok, and now new aching. my right shoulder. i'm not sure if it's an injury, cos it's been aching since 2 days ago. and when i play my violin, it's even more painful. can't bow for so long. it's kind of an old injury, not the first time i felt pain there.

but i still want to practise. maybe i'll practise later, can't really do it now.

no mood to practise. no mood to blog.

i don't like rainy days. didn't think it would rain today cos last night was a red sky. ah wells, not very accurate weather prediction after all. i can't hear my songs properly.

i still kind of want to watch yogi bear. but today's the last day in cathay. i guess that's that, maybe next time i'll get it in DVD. yogi bear is so cute >.<

i should applaud for my discipline. wanted to get out of the compt by 4, but now's almost 5 and i'm still hopelessly blogging.

i don't want school to start. i feel unprepared for the diagnostic tests RAH. time for a random inconsistency of the schedule of the first week! (:

first it's a diagnostic EXERCISE. then it becomes a TEST. haha. (:
ok, ending off. i love this a lot

2011-01-10T00:10:00.001+08:00

DOOMSDAY RAH. good luck to all who took the whole set of o levels! i know i took the cheat route, and there are so many ppl worthy of hwa chong having to study their brains out to get in. so all the best to u all! (: hmmmm, and hopefully i did ok for HCL and MSP. come to think of it, i wasn't even good at malay plus i screwed up quite a lot, so not sure.

nvm, trust in Jesus Christ my Saviour. (: whatever that happens is part of the perfect plan of God, so i shall just accept.

christian camp rocked!! (: sweet time of fellowship with fellow potential jc ppl, and future Christian schoolmates of HC. i'm still not sure if i would join the ministry there, it's really subject to my other commitments, but i guess i can still serve in campus E. (:

well, realised the danger of forgetting Jesus and just trying to survive the busy life in JC. i guess it'll be really easy for me to prioritise on all the wrong things, and forgetting to pray, read the Word and just have quiet times to talk to God. but i hope i would be able to overcome.

come to think of it, i haven't really made up my new year resolutions yet!!!! RAH

i dunno if i even should. cos the second the resolution is made, i know that it won't be possible. i tend to be overly optimistic, and then get lazy. HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW

oh no i need to practise for sunday worship!!! playing violin in worship for the first time RAH. so nervous now.

oh, and tk-d grading AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ok, I AM SO DEAD. 3 major events (with high probability of me screwing up BIG TIME)
1. O LEVELS RELEASE
2. VIOLIN
3. TK-D GRADING.

i want yellow belt!!!!!!

haha, someone actually thought mars is bright tonight. sorry to say, it's only my blog title, it doesn't change everyday but mars hasn't been bright for a long time le. (:

muscles aching everywhere. T.T come on, don't ache tmr or i won't be able to train properly. oh, my arms, pls stop aching. i can't practise violin with my stupid weak muscles aching away.

somehow, i'm getting fatter. must be the post-eating-fried-chicken syndrome.

btw, i prefer KFC to Popeyes. but the "biscuit" served in Popeyes is really quite nice. though the biscuit was more like bread/ scone to me. (:

hmmmm, ok, i shall train a bit before sleeping. (:

SMILE by kyuhyun! (:

2011-01-06T11:04:00.000+08:00

RAH just cut my hair (by myself!). haha, just my fringe. i guess i didn't exactly make a mess of it. >.< but still, it looks pretty ugly. )))))): too straight and nerdish looking!!! haha, PLEASE GROW!!

hmmmmm o level results out on monday!! ha

ha

ha

i dunno what to say.

just hoping that it'll be all right. it'll be all right for everyone. i don't know what to expect. i guess i shouldn't be that worried, since it's only 2 subjects and i'm going to hwachong no matter what. just can't help panicking. >.< nothing i can do anyway.

hmmmm Hwachong open house...

why do i have nothing to say today!!!!

ok, obligated to go. shall go so that i can enjoy the company of friends, since i so long never see them le. (:

well, ICESKATING LATER WOOHOO! (: yay.

fine, i dunno what to blog about, so might as well just get out of here and stop littering the internet with my nonsense.

i <3 kyuhyun! (: his "twin" FTW haha. (: really quite alike but i think kyuhyun still cuter! (: (ok, i know this is old news, but i just read about it so i don't care i wanna post it up here XD)

2011-01-05T13:51:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna play Air on G String (really on the violin's G String) i guess ppl are starting to think sick already haha. but it's a real nice tune!!! (: the piece is so good, bach rocks man. and of course i'm playing the transposed version which is in C major. (:

i think some ppl can guess the reason why i'm playing this song haha. (: i love xia yi zhan xing fu (aka autumn concerto??)!!! (:

hmmm this is what i'm going to play!!! i hope i can reach this standard.... should be possible. (: need to improve on pitching i guess, since there's so much changing of position. XD

i really like sungha jung's version!! (: (he is soooooo cute when his hair is so short!!)

ok, enough about violin. (: wang leehom rocks, he can sing live so well. so much better than all the kpop artistes who cheat all the time, singing over the recorded version and nonsense like that. (: don't get me wrong, i still like kpop, but they seriously can't sing live.

2010-12-30T14:56:00.000+08:00

i guess i'm not at all conscientious about blogging haha. >.< neither am i playing facebook games anymore. somehow, both have lost that spark.

or maybe it's because i'm too caught up with so many things that i can't go and waste so much of my time.

or maybe i still find youtube more entertaining.

fine, whatever, it's kind of good that i quitted my blogging and facebook apps craze. (:

can this be overemphasised??? I AM SO BORED! I AM SO BORED!! I AM SO BORED!!!!! ok, that was pretty unnecessary. the computer bores me but i have to complete the poster before i can say good riddance to the stupid computer. then i can go back to my organic chemistry (which is seriously more fun than facebook, contrary to popular belief)

hmmmm FAMILY OUTING AT SEOUL GARDEN seriously ROCKS!!!! (: i can't believe how much i ate. and for that matter, hmmmmm ate NONSTOP for like 2 hours plus and WAS STILL NOT FULL. there's something wrong, seriously. but it's nice to have free flow of drinks, lots of meat, lots of junk food (like fishball, meatball, sotongball, whatever ball that is edible), ICECREAM. XD and i guess we made our money worth since we came strategically during lunch for the lunch student meal and stayed there from 11.30 to 3. (: haha, and the EPIC frying egg with the hotplate, which ended up in a gruesome mess of charred debris. (: and the futile attempts to clean it haha (but we got a change of hotplate in the end) well, a grand total of 5 eggs in the soup, if i didn't remember wrong. >.<

btw, quitted mario and luigi bros superstar saga!! (: realised that ALL ALONG i had been adding points to my health when i could be doing it to my power, and now my power seriously cannot make it and have dismal damage on monsters.

it's been so long since i blogged that actually i have lots and lots to blog about. (((((((((((((: but i doubt anyone would read it like soon cos all regular readers would have gave up on this blog long ago haha. (:

my cactus died. was upset for a while but i guess i've got over it. ): it's such a cute cactus, honestly. i mean, it never grew tall or anything, but its spikes were really cute. bit red but hard and cactus-like, until my cactus got unhealthy and the spikes all turned white, brittle and soft. i guess it had been suffering from poor health, probably due to unintentional malnutrition (which is my fault) and lack of sunlight (my fault again). and now, i have no idea why but it just broke off CLEANLY in the middle that i can open it and see the insides. but somehow, the inside is EMPTY, which is really weird, cos i always thought cacti would keep their water and whatever xylem and phloem (i'm not sure about the spelling for this word oops, too lazy to check). i seriously hope my cactus wasn't murdered. ):

fine, i guess i haven't really got over my cactus. haven't even decided what to do with the carcass (corpse?? what is a dead plant!!!) so i shall live in self denial and pretend it's still alive. >.<

NEED TO FINISH POSTER FOR RESEARCH@ YDSP!! i'm quite glad for my progress so far, but still left the results and conclusion part to somehow summarise and put into nice font! (:

oh, i haven't talked about CHRISTMAS!! let us take this special time of the year to remember our saviour Jesus Christ and honour Him for His immense grace. (: i dunno how to describe how glad and grateful i am for being saved and to enjoy His kingdom even though i don't deserve it. it's sad how people live without Jesus Christ in their lives, for it was the best decision of my life to follow Him. my spiritual resolution, however, hasn't really been fulfilled yet, so i guess i should put in more effort and place it higher in my priorities.

i guess i have talked enough. >.< VIDEO TIME!

beast!!! (:

2010-12-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

heyhey ppl, sorry to keep u all waiting for the next blog post (if u were actually waiting). i have to spend my precious computer/ internet time on facebook on facebook, email and mario and luigi bros superstar saga. (:

now is lunch time (: just finished eating, and now slacking my time away. have nothing better to do but blog. oh my, this blog is so neglected. the last post was just after o levels, which is 17 nov. now's already dec. it's really not my fault.

right after msp o levels was work experience programme. law rocks man. >.< i would seriously consider a career in law but my grasp of english really quite fail. the amount of money that they earn is really mind-boggling. and court is sooooo cool. ((((((((((: i wished i could see a real trial, but all i got to see was the pre-trial conference, which mainly consisted on fixing the trial date, and why the trial should be postponed to a later date (invariably due to the overwhelming amount of evidence involved)

typing lots and very fast really is fun and destressing. i love the sound of typing on the keyboard.

well, right in the midst of the work experience programme, i fell sick. was really bad. 39.8 degrees was like a shock, though i suspect the thermometer of the hospital a bit inaccurate. but at home it was hovering at 38.0 to 39.2. panadol really rocks in making me sweat and cooling me down. o.O highly suspected that it was dengue fever: rashes, a really cool red eye, fever, no cough/ sore throat/ runny nose, diarhoea. but i recovered faster than normal so whatever. >.<

now at research attachment in dso. >.< very tiring, but extremely rewarding when the results can be seen. (:

lunch was ayam penyet, my goodness it was super niceeeeeee. (:

side-note: harry potter and the deathly hallows was very very exciting. besides being depressing from start to end and having very very few scenes of my favourite draco malfoy, the movie was really good and kind of followed the book well. great experience. (: looking forward to part 2 yay! (:

i should stop having "lunch" and start on work again!! (: finally a proper post right?

thus, i shall end off with videos haha. >.<

seriously nice video. (:

so amusing. katy perry (: haha, i don't see anything offensive about this, but apparently many parents object and complain about her clothes. (:

last is kpop as usual! (:

2010-11-17T12:08:00.001+08:00

FINALLY YAY YAY YAY YAY the end of the agony! (:

and i'm enjoying myself slacking, going out, playing, slacking more, sleeping, eating, facebook, youtube! (:

i still like super junior kry. this is their best song EVER! (:

the one i love 한사람만을

언제부터였는지 잊었어요
내가 왜 이러는지 난 모르죠
하룬 길기만 하고
끝이 없는데
어떻게 또 아침이
오는건지 난 모르죠

어쩔수가 없어요
아무것도 못하고
기나긴 시간을 지켜준
어디에 있는지 무엇을 하는지
오직 한 사람만을
생각하고 있기에

이래서는 안돼는걸 난 알아요
사랑할 수 없다는걸 알고있죠
나의 서툰 고백이
그대를 더 아프게 할뿐이란걸
난 알아요 알고 있죠

그런줄 알면서도
어쩔수가 없네요
그저 그 모습만 떠오르죠
두 눈을 감아도
다시 눈을 떠도
오직 한 사람만을
생각하고 있기에

한순간도 지울수
없는 그 모습을
우는 그저 그대만을 생각하죠

어쩔수가 없어요
아무것도 못하고
기나긴 시간을 지켜보죠
어디에 있든지 무엇을 하든지
오직 한 사람만을
사랑하고 있기에

오직 한 사람만을
난 생각하고 있죠

I forget when it started
I don't know why I'm like this
A day seems so long and doesn't seem to have an end
How does another morning come? I don't know
I can't do anything while not doing anything
I look at the slow time
Where are you? What are you doing?
Because I only think of one person

I shouldn't be doing this, I know
I know that I can't love you
My confession will make you go through more pain
I know, I know

Even though I knew (I knew)
I can't do anything (can't)
I can only think of you
If I close my two eyes or open them again
I can only think of one person

The memory I can't erase for one second (even today)
I just think of you
I can't do anything while not doing anything
I look at the slow time
Where are you? What are you doing?
Because I only think of one person

Because I think of that one person

2010-11-12T11:38:00.000+08:00

4 more days. i really can't wait.

i guess i should post some videos. (:

snsd hoot! (: siwon is so cute!!!!!! (sooyoung!!!!!! so pretty!)

눈 깜빡 할 사이 넌 또
Check it Out
지나가는 여자들 그만 좀 봐
아닌 척 못들은 척 가시 박힌 코웃음
이상해 다 다 다

조금만 내게 친절하면 어때
무뚝뚝한 말투 너무 아파 난
이런 게 익숙해져 가는 건
정말 싫어 속상해 다 다 다

어딜 쳐다봐 난 여기 있는데

너 때문에 내 마음은 갑옷 입고
이젠 내가 맞서줄게
네 화살은 Trouble Trouble Trouble
나를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

독이 배인 네 말에 나 상처 입고도
다시 준 두 번째 Chance
넌 역시 Trouble Trouble Trouble
때를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

다른 여자의 함정에 푹 빠졌다니
변명 끝
넌 아직도 정신 못 차리고 있지
그 태도로 좋은 여자 못 만날거다
영원히 넌 넌 넌

착각마라 넌 큐피드가 아냐 너 말야

너 때문에 내 마음은 갑옷 입고
이젠 내가 맞서줄게
네 화살은 Trouble Trouble Trouble
나를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

독이 배인 네 말에 나 상처 입고도
다시 준 두 번째 Chance
넌 역시 Trouble Trouble Trouble
때를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

물속에서 뜨려면 가라앉게
내가 만든 Circle 너는 각지게
묻지 않은 말에 대답만 또 해
그래도 난 너처럼 화살은 안 쏠게

너 때문에 내 마음은 갑옷 입고
이젠 내가 맞서줄게
네 화살은 Trouble Trouble Trouble
나를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

독이 배인 네 말에 나 상처 입고도
다시 준 두 번째 Chance
넌 역시 Trouble Trouble Trouble
때를 노렸어
너는 Shoot Shoot Shoot
나는 훗 훗 훗

The moment I blink
Again, you check it out
Stop staring at the girls passing by
Acting like you’re not, like you didn’t hear
That snort with a thorn stuck in it
All, all, all of it is weird

How about being a little more nice to me?
Your abrupt speech hurts so much
I really don’t like
Becoming used to it
All, all, all of it is disappointing

Where are you looking?
I’m right here

*Because of you, my heart wears an armor
Now I’ll fight back
Your arrow is trouble, trouble, trouble
It aimed at me
You shoot, shoot, shoot
I hoot, hoot, hoot

I’m scarred by your words soaked in poison
I gave you a second chance
You’re definitely trouble, trouble, trouble
You waited for the right time
You shoot, shoot, shoot
I hoot, hoot, hoot*

I heard you fell deeply into another girl’s trap?
End of excuses! You still can’t come to your sense, can you?
You won’t meet a good girl with that attitude
You, you, you, forever

Don’t be mistaken
You’re not cupid (You are)

*Repeat

If you try to float on water, I’ll make you sink
In the circle I made, you’re all around
You just answer questions again that I didn’t even ask
But I still won’t shoot an arrow like you did

*Repeat
lyrics credits: smtownjjang.wordpress

i decided i should just show my support for shinee and super junior too. (:

hello by shinee!! ultimate cute, i don't understand why ppl say they are gay. as some random youtuber may say, it's like hating babies, or saying babies are gay. o.O anyway, jonghyun can sing so well but he's dating. lols. big blow to all the fangirls around (not me!) XD

[종현] 이럴 때를 보면 나
어리기는 한가봐
눈 앞에 두고도 어찌 할 줄 몰라
[온유] 어떻게들 사랑을 시작하고 있는지
사랑하는 사람들 말해줘요

[태민] 언젠가 그녀 손을 잡아 볼 날 올까요
[종현] 감은 두 눈 위에 kiss하는 날도 와줄까요

[All] Hello, hello
[Key] 나름대로 용길 냈어요
[All] Hello, hello
[온유] 잠시 얘기 할래요
[All] Hello, hello
[종현] 내가 좀 서둘진 몰라도
[All] Who knows? 어쩜 우린
[태민] 잘 될지도 몰라

[민호] 내가 다가서야 하는지
좀 더 기다려야 하는지
[종현] 모두 다른 말을 하는게
더 어려워 ( [온유] 믿을 수 없겠죠 )
[Key] 보기보다 눈이 높아요
[온유] 이런 일 난 흔치않아요
내 말 믿어줘요

[태민] 아무렇지 않게 그녈 안을 날 올까요
[온유] 생각한대로 모두 이뤄진단 말 믿어요

[All] Hello, hello
[종현] 나름대로 용길 냈어요
[All] Hello, hello
[Key] 잠시 얘기 할래요
[All] Hello, hello
[태민] 내가 좀 서툴지 몰라도
Who knows 어쩜 우린
[종현] Oh yeah

처음은 아니죠 사실 말하자면
사랑도 이별도 해봤죠
[온유] 하지만 어려워요 이 말을 믿어줘요
[종현] 그대는 달라요

[All] Hello, hello
[민호] 이번엔 나를 다 걸게요
[All] Hello, hello
[Key] Ooh yeah, baby baby baby girl
[All] Hello, hello
[종현] 지금은 어떨지 몰라도
[All] Who knows 어쩜 우린

[All] Hello, hello
Hello, hello
[온유] 내게 기회를 줘요
[All] Hello, hello
[종현] 그대 지금은 어떨지 몰라도
[All] Who knows 우리 둘이
[온유] 운명일지 몰라
([민호] Hello 니곁에 맴돈 그 시간들을 계속
그 어떤 기쁨과도 비교못해 no more
그댈 이젠 표현 할 수 없고
내 심장은 다 원해 never let you go
이런게 사랑이면 절대 안놓쳐
Who knows 우리 둘이 )

[All] Hello, hello

[Jonghyun] When I see myself during these times
I feel that I really am young
Even with you in front of me
I don’t know what to do
[Onew] To the people who are in love
Please tell me how you started to love

[Taemin] Will the day I hold her hand ever come?
[Jonghyun] Will the day I kiss her above her closed eyes also come?

[All] Hello, hello
[Key] I brought up the courage
[All] Hello, hello
[Onew] I want to talk to you for a moment
[All] Hello, hello
[Jonghyun] I may be rushing a bit
[All] Who knows? We might
[Taemin] End up doing well

[Minho] Whether I should approach you
Or wait a little longer
[Jonghyun] With everyone saying different things
Makes it much harder ([Onew] You might not believe me)
[Key] She has higher standards than she seems
[Onew] This kind of thing is uncommon for me
Please believe what I say

[Taemin] Will the day I casually hold her come?
[Onew] I believe everything will turn out the way you think it will

[All] Hello, hello
[Jonghyun] I brought up the courage
[All] Hello, hello
[Key] I want to talk to you for a moment
[All] Hello, hello
[Taemin] I may be rushing a bit
[All] Who knows? We might
[Jonghyun] Oh yeah

It’s not my first time to be honest
I’ve loved and broken up before
[Onew] But it’s hard, please believe these words
[Jonghyun] You are different

[All] Hello, hello
[Minho] I’ll bet my all this time
[All] Hello, hello
[Key] Ooh yeah, baby baby baby girl
[All] Hello, hello
[Jonghyun] I don’t know how you feel right now
[All] Who knows? We might

[All] Hello, hello
Hello, hello
[Onew] Please give me a chance
[All] Hello, hello
[Jonghyun] I don’t know how you feel right now
[All] Who knows? Two of us
[Onew] Might be destiny
([Minho] Hello, the times I spent by your side
Can no more compare to any other happiness
I can’t express myself to you
My heart wants all of you, never let you go
If this is love, I’ll never let it go
Who knows? The two of us)

[All] Hello, hello

lucifer! (taemin can dance so well!!)

숨 을 곳도 찾지 못해 나는 피하려고 애써봐도
거부조차 할 수 업는 네개 갇혀버린 나
사랑이었다면 정말 사랑했던 거라면 내개 이러지는 말아
Her whisper is the Lucifer

*나를 묶고 가둔다면 사랑도 묶인 채
미 래도 묶인 채 커질 수 없는데
자유롭게 비워놓고 바라봐 오직 너만 채울게 너만 가득 채울게

거부 할 수 없는 너의 마력은 Lucifer
거부 할 수 없는 너의 마법은 Lucifer
다가서면 너는 마치 천사 같은 얼굴로
나를 사는 이유라 말하고, 말하고

너를 처음 봤을 때 짧은 순간 멈춰버렸지
누가 마치 내 심장을 꽉 쥔 채 놓지 않는 것처럼 (아직까지도)
너는 그렇게 내 맘을 다, 다, 다, 다, 다, 다 가져놓고
니가 없으면 내 맘이 다 타버리게 만든다

*Repeat

Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic

너와 같이 나눈 사랑예기들 나랑 같은 곳을 바라보는 너
우리 더 이상은 완벽해질 수 업다고 느꼈을 때
나만 쳐다봐, 너는 더, 더, 더, 더, 더, 더 나를 원해
나만 바라봐, 모든 게, 게, 게, 게, 게, 게 니가 중심

언제부턴가 조금씩 잘못된 것 같아 이상한 너
날 알던 사랑들 모두 하나 둘씩 겯을 떠나 난 가진 게 너뿐이고

*Repeat

마치 유리성에 갇혀버린 삐에로만 된 것 같아
절대 만족 없는 너를 위해 춤을 추는 나
훤히 들여다보고 뇌를 만져 바보 된 것 같아
난 점점 네게 끌려가는 것만 같은데

Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic

니가 미운 건 아냐 싫단 것도 아냐 단지 그런 눈빛이 부담일 뿐
어디 안가 이렇게 난 너만 바라보고 기다려 왔잖아

너의 눈빛이 날 사로잡다 날이 지날수록 날카로워졌다
너의 집착에 지쳤다 만이 베었다 맘에 피가 난다
나 쓰러질 쯤 되면 다가와서 천사같이 "사랑해"란 말
누 가 진짜 너였는지 알다가도 헷갈리게 만든다

*Repeat

마치 유리성에 갇혀버린 삐에로만 된 것 같아
나 를 냅둬 자유로워 질 때 너를 진짜 사랑할 수 있고
훤히 들여다보고 뇌를 만져 바보 된 것 같아
나를 냅둬 질리게도 말고 너를 진짜 바라볼 수 있게

나를 묶고 가둔다면 사랑도 묶인 채
미래도 묶인 채 커질 수 업는데
Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic
거부 할 수 업는 너의 마력은 Lucifer

Even if I try to avoid you, I can't find a place to hide
I'm trapped by you, who I can't even deny
If it was love, if you really loved me, don't do this to me
Her whisper is the Lucifer

*If you tie me down and trap me
Then the love is also tied down
The future is also tied down
It can't grow anymore
Freely empty yourself and look at me
I'll fill you only, I'll completely fill you only

Your undeniable spell is the Lucifer
Your undeniable magic is the Lucifer
When I approach you
With your angelic face
Say the reason you live is for me
Say it

When I first saw you, I stopped for a short time
As if someone was tightly seizing my heart, not letting it go (Still)
You took all, all, all, all, all, all of my heart just like that
You make my heart burn out when you're not here

*Repeat

Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic

The love stories I shared with you
You look towards the same places I do
When we feel that we can't get any more perfect
Only stare at me, you want me more, more, more, more, more, more
Only look at me, you're the center of everything, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing

Since before, something has been wrong, you've been weird
The love I knew left my side, one by one
All I have is you

*Repeat

I feel like I've become a clown trapped in a glass castle
I dance for you, who will never be satisfied
You look into me openly, touching my brain
I think I've become a fool
I think I'm only getting more and more attracted to you

Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic

It's not that I hate you or that I dislike you
It's just that kind of stare is a burden is all
I'm not going anywhere
I've waited like this by only looking at you

Your stare captures me
As the days went by, it became sharper
I'm tired of your obsession
I've been cut a lot, my heart is bleeding
When it's about time for me to pass out
She comes to me like an angel, saying "I love you"
Even though I knew it was really you
You really confused me

*Repeat

I feel like I've become a clown trapped in a glass castle
Leave me alone, when I'm free, I'll be able to truly love you
Leave me alone, don't make me sick of you
So I can truly look at you

If you tie me down and trap me
Then love is also tied down
The future is also tied down
It can't grow anymore
Loverholic, robotronic, loverholic, robotronic
Your undeniable spell is the Lucifer

dance version of lucifer would really show how pro taemin is!!! and his shirt FTW! (:

i feel like posting super junior's no other and bonamana again muahahaha! (:

no other!!! (it's such a nice song o.O)

[YS] 너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸 어디서 찾니
[KH]너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물
[YS] 너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서 어디서 찾니
[KH] 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈

[RW] 너의 따뜻한 그 두 손이 차갑게, 차갑게 식어 있을 때
너의 강했던 그 마음이 날카롭게 상처 받았을 때
[DH] 내가 잡아줄게 안아줄게 살며시, 그것으로 작은 위로만 된다면 좋겠어
언제나 더 많은 걸 해주고 싶은 내 맘 넌 다 몰라도 돼

[KH] 가슴이 소리쳐 말해 자유로운 내 영혼
언 제나 처음의 이 마음으로 너를 사랑해 걸어왔던 시간보다 남은 날이 더 많아

[KH/ZM?] 너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸 어디서 찾니
[KH/SM] 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물
[EH] 너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서 어디서 찾니
[KH/EH] 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈

[SW] 나 의 가난했던 마음이 눈부시게 점점 변해갈 때
작은 욕심들이 더는 넘치지 않게 내 맘의 그릇 커져갈 때
[SM] 알고 있어 그 모든 이유는 분명히 네가 있어주었다는 것, 그것 딱 하나 뿐
언제나 감사해. 내가 너만큼 그리 잘 할 수 있겠니

[LT] 가슴 이 소리쳐 말해 자유로운 내 영혼
언제나 처음의 이 마음으로 너를 사랑해 걸어왔던 시간보다 남은 날이 더 많아

[RW/YS] 너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸 어디서 찾니
[RW/KH] 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물
[HC/SM] 너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서 어디서 찾니
[KH] 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈

[EH] 있잖아 조금 아주 조금 나 수줍지만 넌 몰라 속은 태양보다 뜨거워 내 맘 좀 알아줘
TV쇼에 나오는 Girl들은 무대에서 빛이 난데도 넌 언제나 눈부셔 ([SD]내 가 미쳐 미쳐 Baby)
사 랑한단 너의 말에 세상을 다 가진 난 You & I, You’re so fine 너 같은 사람 있을까
[SD] 사랑해 오, 내게는 오직 너뿐이란 걸 바보 같은 나에게는 ([with RW/EH]) 전부라는 걸 알아줘

[KH] 같은 길을 걸어왔어 우린 서로 닮아가고 있잖아 놀라울 뿐이야 고마울 뿐이야 사랑할 뿐이야

[ALL] 너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸 어디서 찾니
너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물
너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서 어디서 찾니
나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈
너 같은 사람 또 없어

There’s no one like you (No Other)

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that, where else to look for?
A good person like you, a good person like you, with a good heart like you, a gift as great as you
How lucky that I’m the person who will try his hard to protect you, where else to look for?
A happy guy like me, a happy guy like me, the guy with the happiest smile like me

Your two warm hands gets cold when I’m cold
Your heart that used to be strong becomes sensitive when I’m hurt
Take my hands silently, hold me silently, I’m only wishing for such little comforts
You don’t know my heart that wanted to do more just for you

Call out my heart, free my soul
It always felt like the first time, these remaining days are more than the time that I came to love you

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that, where else to look for?
A good person like you, a good person like you, with a good heart like you, a gift as great as you
How lucky that I’m the person who will try his hard to protect you, where else to look for?
A happy guy like me, a happy guy like me, the guy with the happiest smile like me

When my greedy heart gradually search to other directions
When my mind can’t handle whenever my greed grow even more
I know all those reasons that clearly says that you’re here, it’s the only one
I’m always thankful. I could do better as you do

Call out my heart, free my soul
It always felt like the first time, these remaining days are more than the time that I came to love you

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that, where else to look for?
A good person like you, a good person like you, with a good heart like you, a gift as great as you
How lucky that I’m the person who will try his hard to protect you, where else to look for?
A happy guy like me, a happy guy like me, the guy with the happiest smile like me

You know, I’m a little bit shy sometimes, you don’t know but you’re burning like the sun, please understand my feelings
Even those girls that appears on TV shows are sparkling, you’re always be the one in my eyes (I’m going crazy crazy Baby)
Hearing you tell me that you love me, I have everything in this world, You & I, You’re so fine, is there someone like you?
I love you Oh, please know it, to me there’s only you, that I stupidly see you as my everything

We arrived on the same road, we’re just the same, how surprising, how grateful, it’s love

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that, where else to look for?
A good person like you, a good person like you, with a good heart like you, a gift as great as you
How lucky that I’m the person who will try his hard to protect you, where else to look for?
A happy guy like me, a happy guy like me, the guy with the happiest smile like me
lyrics credit: dateforsuju.wordpress

and bonamana!!

딴따란딴, 딴따란딴, 딴따란딴, 따다따라빠. 딴따란딴, 딴따란딴, 딴따란딴, 따다따라빠

[시원] 넌 알까말까 알까말까 너무 예쁜 미인아
날 미쳤다고 말해도 난 니가 좋다 미인아

[희철] 누가 전해줘 My baby, to my baby 내가 여기 있다고 말야
기다린다 말야 (Baby, you turn it up now)

[규현] 넌, 가타부타, 가타부타 말 좀 해라 미인아
니 마음을 가졌다면 그냥 나는 삶의 Winner
[성민] 이 세상의 이치란 이치란 용기 있는 자를 따라 나 같은 놈 말야

[려욱] 옛말에 Say 열번 찍으면 넘어간다 으쓱 으쓱 으쓱
[성민] 그녀는 강적 끄떡없다 삐쭉 삐쭉 삐쭉
[이특] 난 어떡할까 어떡할까 그녀만이 내 관심인걸 걸 걸

[ALL] Bounce to you, Bounce to you
내 가슴은 널 향해 잡힐 수도 없을 만큼 뛰고 있는걸
Break it down to you, Down to you
내 가슴이 너 널 갖지 못한다면 멈출 거란다 (날 바라봐라)

[신동&은혁(???)] 볼까말까 볼까말까 볼까말까 나 같은 남자
본체만체 본체만체 본체만체 돌아서 봐도
보고봐도 보고봐도 보고봐도 나 밖에 없다
보나마나 보나마나 보나마나 (Baby, you turn it up now)

[동해] 뭘 살까 살까 살까 살까 너를 위한 선물
오 미치겠다 생각만 해도 좋아할 니 모습
[규현] Listen girl! [???] 좋아해 [규현] Baby girl! [은혁(???)] 사랑해
[규현] 나만이 너를 위한 남자 [예성] 들어줘 봐 너를 향한 고백

[려욱] 내 맘의 say 애만 태우지 말고 제발 끄덕 끄덕 끄덕
[성민] 이 노력 정도면 나라도 구해 기특 기특 기특
[이특] 난 어떡하라고 어떡하라고 그녀만이 내 전부인걸 걸 걸

[ALL] Bounce to you, Bounce to you
내 가슴은 널 향해 잡힐 수도 없을 만큼 뛰고 있는걸
Break it down to you, Down to you
내 가슴이 너 널 갖지 못한다면 멈출 거란다 (날 바라봐라)

[신동&은혁(???)] 볼까말까 볼까말까 볼까말까 나 같은 남자
본체만체 본체만체 본체만체 돌아서 봐도
보고봐도 보고봐도 보고봐도 나 밖에 없다
보나마나 보나마나 보나마나 나 밖에 없다

[희철] 난 드디어 미칠거야 폭발해 버릴 거야
더 못 참겠어 그녀만의 밀고 당기기
[은혁] 오 진짜 미칠거야 누가 좀 말려봐 봐
이렇게 힘들 거란 걸 누가 말했어야지

[려욱] (It’s) True, true 내 감정은 갈 곳이 없어
네게 맞춰 버린걸 넌 잘 알잖니
[규현] How to keep loving you?
내가 진짜 네게 잘할게 이대로 날 썩혀 두지마

[성민] 기다린다 미인아! [신동] Hope you’ll step to me, step to me
[성민] 사랑한다 미인아! [신동] Bring it, sign to me, sign to me
[신동] 하하하하 하하하하하 [이특(???)] 그녀가 이미 날 바라볼 준비가 돼 있었나봐

[ALL] Bounce to you, Bounce to you
내 가슴은 널 향해 잡힐 수도 없을 만큼 뛰고 있는걸
Break it down to you, Down to you
내 가슴이 너 널 갖지 못한다면 멈출 거란다 (날 바라봐라)

[신동&은혁(???)] 볼까말까 볼까말까 볼까말까 나 같은 남자
본체만체 본체만체 본체만체 돌아서 봐도
보고봐도 보고봐도 보고봐도 나 밖에 없다
보나마나 보나마나 보나마나 나 밖에 없다

[All]
Ddanddaranddan ddanddaranddan Ddanddaranddan ddadaddarabba
Ddanddaranddan ddanddaranddan Ddanddaranddan ddadaddarabba

[SiWon]
Do you know or not, know or not, that you're very pretty, beautiful girl
Even if you call me crazy, I still like you, beautiful girl

[HeeChul]
Someone tell this to my baby, to my baby that I’m here
that I'm waiting
([EunHyuk] Baby, you turn it up now)

[KyuHyun]
you're neither yes nor no, yes nor no, say something, beautiful girl
If I had your heart, then I’d be this life’s winner
[YeSung]
This world's logic, logic is to follow guys who are brave
Guys like me

[RyeoWook]
Old sayings say that picking ten times is going overboard
Shrug, shrug, shrug
[SungMin]
That girl is a powerful enemy, she's unmovable
Pout, pout, pout
[RyeoWook]
What will I do? What will I do?
That girl is my only interest

[All]
Bounce to you, Bounce to you
My heart is beating, beating so fast that it can’t be caught
Break it down to you, Down to you
If my heart can’t have you, then it’ll stop (Look at me)

[EunHyuk/ShinDong]
Will you look or not, look or not, look or not, at a guy like me?
You neglect, neglect, neglect me even if you turn around
Even if you look and look, look and look, look and look, there's no one else but me
For sure, for sure, for sure
(Baby you turn it up now)

[DongHae]
What should I buy, buy, buy, buy, as a present for you
Oh I’m going crazy from your image that I'll like even just thinking about it
[KyuHyun]
Listen girl!
[DongHae]
I like you
[KyuHyun]
Baby girl!
[YeSung]
I love you
[KyuHyun]
I'm the only guy for you
[YeSung]
Please listen to my confession

[RyeoWook]
My heart says to stop fussing and please, nod, nod, nod
[SungMin]
If it takes this much effort, I could save the world and be admirable, admirable, admirable
[RyeoWook]
What do you want me to do, what do you want me to do? That girl is my everything

[All]
Bounce to you, Bounce to you
My heart is beating, beating so fast that it can’t be caught
Break it down to you, Down to you
If my heart can’t have you, then it’ll stop (Look at me)

[EunHyuk/ShinDong]
Will you look or not, look or not, look or not, at a guy like me?
You neglect, neglect, neglect me even if you turn around
Even if you look and look, look and look, look and look, there's no one else but me
For sure, for sure, for sure
there's no one like me

[LeeTeuk]
I'm finally gonna go crazy, I'm gonna explode
[HeeChul]
I can’t take it anymore, her playing games with me
[EunHyuk]
Oh I’m really going crazy, someone put an end to this
Someone should have told me that it would be this hard

[RyeoWook]
(It’s) True, true my feelings have nowhere to go to
You know that I adjusted myself to fit you
[KyuHyun]
How to keep loving you?
I’ll be really good to you don’t let me rot like this

[YeSung]
I'll wait, beautiful girl
[ShinDong] Hope you’ll step to me, step to me
[YeSung]
I love you beautiful girl! [ShinDong] Bring it, sign to me, sign to me
HaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHa
[RyeoWook/KyuHyun]
Looks like she was ready to look at me

[All]
Bounce to you, Bounce to you
My heart is beating, beating so fast that it can’t be caught
Break it down to you, Down to you
If my heart can’t have you, then it’ll stop (Look at me)

[EunHyuk/ShinDong]
Will you look or not, look or not, look or not, at a guy like me?
You neglect, neglect, neglect me even if you turn around
Even if you look and look, look and look, look and look, there's no one else but me
For sure, for sure, for sure
there's no one like me
lyrics credits: jpopasia

i'm so lazy for this post. mostly c&p-ed. (: whatever, will post properly next time (:

2010-11-09T14:36:00.000+08:00

physics or bio?

econs or history?

what cca!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAIL.

anyway, finally graduated. still rather apprehensive about the whole "going to hwachong" thing. and i haven't bought the uniform and seriously don't want to make a trip to beauty world for it. can i just not care about the "i have to go in hwachong uniform on the first day of school" thing? but i would be THE ONLY ONE IN THE GHOSTLY HONGZI!

i seriously don't have time in the hols. studying for chinese, studying for malay, work experience programme starting right after malay 'o's. and research @ ydsp starting right after work experience. and after that, a short break before SCHOOL.

well, but i'll make time out to go out and play!! (:

can't wait for o levels to end. 7 MORE DAYS!

still suffering fluctuating moods and emotions. stupid voices, go away. ><

2010-10-25T18:58:00.000+08:00

break is ending soon. this is the best break that i've ever had. (:

tues: child's eye with angela unnie, huimin unnie, yeehui popo, eleanor, jiaying, liyin! (: it was scary and i ended up not watching a lot of it since i was hiding behind my bag. (liyin hide behind hongzi!!! lol >.<) but it was quite good, even though some parts didn't really make sense to me, and the ending was enigmatic (or in not as politically-correct terms, abrupt). well, not giving spoilers here, but if u watch the movie u'll know what i mean.

hmmm wed: bestseller with A1 juniors! (: or rather, A1 sec1 juniors! (: haha, camwhoring was o.O and the painting thingy FTW! (: i feel old when out with u all but it was fun! and the movie was really really good! ((((((((((((: as usual, no spoilers, but i highly recommend bestseller! (:

thurs: out with choir batchmates!! <3 watched it's you again. it's really very funny and the pace is just right. >.< the part about bullying really touched me o.O ah well, enjoyed the brownie given to me for my birthday!!! (:

ah well, i'm too lazy to post. (:

2010-10-20T08:27:00.001+08:00

Hope is a dream that never sleeps. >.<

haha, it's a bit ironic seeing that u can only dream if u sleep right? (: haha, INCEPTION. going to limbo during chem or any class is extremely funnnnnnn.

but kyuhyun rocks!! (:

ok, my birthday rocks. exams going to be over tmr. going out practically everyday. heh, me in a really really good mood.

presents that i got totally rocked! (: and not to mention the spamming of smses and in facebook (esp by a particular irritating someone)

still in a happy happy mood.

feel like talking about the exams that are already over. (results are a complete matter altogether) but anyway they are over so i can't do anything about it so i shall just rejoice in their end. haha not discussing answers here, no worries to u-know-who-u-are!

LA was okkkkk. compared to the past year papers, i think the teachers decided to give us an easier paper. so well, not too bad. writing about exams in an exam was equally entertaining, and of course writing about the good side of exams (albeit secretly sarcastic about certain matters :P).

CHINESE fine, it was quite a killer, didn't finish the compos properly (but that's really my fault cos of bad time management). the compre was not easy T.T but i guess i just did it anyway. nvm, i'll celebrate the death of my pursuing chinese in school pretty soon so i shall just not care.

IH well, rather wellprepared, seeing that environmental sustainability came out (THANK GOD!) and the SBQ was not too difficult.

BAHASA MELAYU a relief that EOYs were over. seeing from cikgu's expression, i think we all did ok for it. (:

PHYSICS was quite ok. it was predicted to be the hardest paper, but in the end it was about the same difficulty as bio. (chem is heh ^.^) well, being 21 pages did scare me at first, which caused the rush at first, and then the realisation that i have too much time ^.^

BIO heh heh o.O i don't think i did well, i guess i would still be ok. didn't finish and i know i got quite a few wrong already. >.< the paper was pretty tough, and there's a lot of writing. well, anyway the marking is going to be relaxed, so hopefully i'll do ok.

CHEM (: it was ok. but i'm bound to have careless mistakes everywhere. >.<

MATH! hmmmmm I LOVE MATH! besides having a really glaring mistake for the first question (which i duly saw and corrected), i'm pretty sure many of the other careless mistakes escaped my eye, and still exist now. my time management was quite o.O seeing that i finished 50 min before time for the first paper, and 40 min before time for the second paper, i obviously didn't do enough checking. ^.^

so evaluation of EOYs: TOO LONG, NO KICK!

yes, shouldn't have spreaded the EOYs over such a long period of time, it only makes me want to play for longer instead of starting to study for o levels.

long post today since i have so much time after EOYs. (: going out later, wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2010-10-13T08:46:00.001+08:00

slacking early in the morning is a stupid decision.

i shall get out.

LIKE. NOW.

ok, this is very fail. i hate to say that the wrong motor neurones are too active and those that need to be working are not working!!!

ok, ok ok ok, ok yes, i'm off. i can do this.

FAIL.

2010-10-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

checking marks today gave me a good mood for the whole day. (:

wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

(: it definitely reduced the already-nonexistent stress i have for math, chem and physics. HAPPY. (:

ok, i will not be complacent. yes i will not be complacent. i will still try my best and aim for full marks. it's not impossible, so it's possible!!!

therefore i can do it!

((((((((((((((((((:
ok back to studying >.<

2010-10-11T09:23:00.000+08:00

are we supposed to make a wish on 10:10:10 yesterday? lol, i was just lamenting on how slow my sms is sending out!

i don't feel like studying. i just want exams to be over. i don't want to study. i just want exams to be over.

):

slacked on saturday. slacked on sunday. wanted to study on sunday night but ended up getting a headache.

in other words, two days of slacking and inactivity. my enzymes are not working. is there something wrong with my myelin shealth?? it seems that the msg in my brain is extremely concentrated and intense, but somehow the electric impulses got dispersed on the way and my motor neurones are not getting any message so i'm not doing anything!!!!!!

fine, i shall not blame my lack of discipline to my nervous system.

headache yesterday was one of the worst ever. and there was a stupid car which had its alarm set off like for an hour or so. the owner obviously didn't care if the car was stolen, cos he didn't even bother to come out to check on it and switch off that bloody alarm.

and i had a bit of problems sleeping. paranoid.

i shall make full use of my time today, tmr and wed to STUDY!!! tues got sch, so irritating, but i shall just ignore.

2010-10-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

i really don't like it when ppl lose their tempers and shout at each other. i can understand why ppl get angry, there's no need, no reason to get agitated and aggressive. shouting will just make everyone more angry and therefore worsens the situation.

worse of all, make those who are not involved so upset.

whatever, i won't let my mood sour.

need to study!! (: still have math, physics and chem, my best subjects. but i won't get complacent. ok, 열심히 하겠습니다!!!!